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I like to pretend that what you say and do doesn't effect me or hurt me in any way at all.
I like to pretend that against you, I am immune.
I like to pretend that you are nothing.
I like to pretend that everything is perfectly fine.
Perfect.
Fine.
You are not perfect.
You are not fine.
You are far from either.
In fact, you are far from you.
You are no longer acting anything like you.
Not the you that I know, at least.
The truth is, that even though I pretend I am fine...
I am effected.
And I am hurt.
But mostly...I am disappointed.
I am disappointed in you.
I am disappointed in you and what you have let yourself become.
I am also disappointed...that I don't know what to do or say to make you see what you're doing.
I never even knew what to do or say to keep you from becoming whatever it is that you are.
I am disappointed in myself...
Because I could not be a good enough friend to keep you from this.
I am sorry, I was not good enough.