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Ah what ever pops into my head wether it be dream avi's or poetry.

It's an awful feeling isn't it? It usually appears right after anger and guilt. It makes you wish you had a time machine or do overs but that isn't how life works. My life song makes me feel anger, pain and emptiness but most of all it makes me think...makes me regret...I can't undo my mistakes only watch them play out which is also extremely painful.......I hate pain emotional or not pain is something I hate....But no matter how many sorries I wan't to say I really can't take back what I did what I had people do or the feelings I felt....Though I do wish a simple sorry could fix my life again, that it could simply heal the wound I made.....All in all I get pissed so easily and then my pride is another animal all together....when those two emotions mix I end up being an a**-hat in the long run...sucks for me but maybe I deserve it...I really don't know what to do anymore...I feel sick and tired....I wish I could just fade into the background.....no friends no life...it'd be quieter.....meh a horrible person like me isn't that lucky....Which is why it's so very hard to apologize and keep my friends around.....I feel like I'll be a loner soon or later better stock my ipod full of those songs that get me through the day and those books that I love but my mom hates....I think I'll go back to being a book-worm like in elementry at least I wasn't lonely....still violent....but I was never bored

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