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Paranoid
“That kid was cute,” Addison commented, walking in right before the bell. I looked at her as she sat down and waited for her to say more. “You know, that kid you were talking to?”
“Allen? Yeah, he’s pretty cool,” I said, wondering what she even thought of me. I was still trying to figure out what had happened at lunch. We had dated at the beginning of the year and none of our friends liked it- I could hear mine gripe about it and his too. I hadn’t seen him with anyone, or even looking at anyone else as I let my thoughts drift away and listen to the teacher.
But things from the past came back to me as I shifted in my seat, knowing that Addison was watching me closely as I shifted around, making it so my hair was hiding my face and my frustrated look as I glanced out the hallway, Jarod walking by.
Smiling, I shook my hair back out, but then had to tip my head back forward when Allen walked by, his glasses slipping down his nose. Jarod was tall and lanky, while Allen was shorter and broader in the shoulders. There weren’t many different things about them as I shifted in my seat, making sure my hand hid the door from my eyesight, not wanting to get distracted again.
Thinking that they might have passed by the door, I lowered my hand and listened to my teacher, a sudden fear spiking inside of me when Jarod and Allen walked down the hallway together, talking to each other. I would have given up anything in the world to know what they were talking about as Allen glanced into the classroom and saw me, a smile on his face. Jarod glanced in too and gave me, or hopefully Addison, a dark look before walking away.
Rubbing my forehead, I knew I was becoming too paranoid with myself. They didn’t know each other enough to connect me with both as I took out a sheet of paper at the teacher’s request and started answering her questions.
After class, I took off down the hall, wanting to get the day over with, when I ran into one of Allen’s friends that didn’t like me at all, even though we had been friends through elementary school. Trying to avoid him, I couldn’t as I looked at him, my annoyance showing.
“What did Allen ask you?” Keith asked, his annoying chipmunk shaped head bobbing next to me as he walked down the hallway at my side.
“How do you know he asked me anything?” I asked, knowing that I couldn’t outsmart him, but I could try- my class was coming up as I dodged in front of people, weaving to get to the other side of the hallway. Somehow, he managed to follow me.
“He said, ‘I’ll be right back, I need to ask Kristy something,’ when you walked out of the cafeteria,” he said, in the matter of fact tone as I sighed. “I think I know what he asked you.”
“Then why did you ask about what he asked me? I know you’re a friend and all…” I said, my voice getting cut off by a screaming freshman. “I told him, I had to think about it,” I said, knowing he wouldn’t let me go to class without a fine answer.
“Do you know what Danielle has said about us?” he asked, moving in closer. Trying not to gag from the idea of him being so close to me, I shook my head and glanced at the clock, wondering how long this was going to take me. “She thinks we’re gay because she can’t have either of us and that Allen never looks at any girls,” he said as I choked on my spit, trying not to laugh. “Yet, you and Allen…”
“But you had went out with her before,” I said, wondering if he knew I knew. “And, you two are really close. I get that, she doesn’t. But now if you would excuse me, I need to get to class,” I said, slipping past him. Wondering what that was about, I sat down right when the bell rang. For some reason, I figured that was his way of warning me about Danielle.
Before, I hadn’t had many problems with her, besides knowing that she was in my class. I hanged with different people than her, even with the whole Allen thing as I shifted in my seat, trying to get comfortable when the b***h of the day walked in, asking the teacher something. Acting distracted, I watched her, wondering why I was considering getting myself into this mess, when my palms became sweaty and my whole body went cold, even though the room was pretty warm.
Darkness clouded my visions, a soft, muffled crying reaching my ears. Pleading words as a hand shoved the person away, disappearing from view, their voice and sobbing disappearing as I rushed to where they were standing, realizing it was the ledge to the building. Whatever just happened, whoever was standing where I had been had just killed the sobbing person.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, voices around me as I opened my eyes and saw my teacher standing in front of me, the words not matching to her lips as I choked out unrecognizable words out of my dry mouth. Somehow, I managed to muster the energy to get up and walk away, no matter how faint I was.
Walking out with a pass, I stumbled my way to the bathroom, griping onto things like a drunk, hoping that no one was there. Just seconds pasted, but to me, it felt like eternity as I pushed the door open, stumbling into the wall before making into a stall, loosing my lunch.
Someone had died, before my eyes. I didn’t know who it was, but I was certain that I was the one that pushed them off the ledge of a building. It was my fault as I emptied my stomach and kneeled there, crying. After a few minutes, I realized that someone was in there with me as I flushed the toilet and got up, leaving the stall to wash my face and calm down.
While I was washing my hands, another toilet flushed and Danielle walked out of the stall, watching me with a weary eye as I washed my face and hands, my crying down to just sniffles and a choking cough. I couldn’t look at her as she left, leaving me gripping the sink, when Addison walked into the bathroom.