I sit here with a HUGE chunk of white chocolate in my mouth, and declare that today is the suckiest Valentine's Day I've ever had in my life. Well, okay, fine, 16 years. Almost. But today just hasn't been what all the media and stuff, and even the Gaian decorations, make it out to be.
School sucked... seeing all those people around you getting so many Valentines, some even having to get bags to put them in, and stuffing them overflowing... and then looking at the significantly reduced amount of stuff you got. Well, I should be thankful I even GOT stuff, right? Me being the unlovable a** that I am. At least I got one flower... and a few notes. And a bit of chocolate... not the one I'm eating now though. I left it in school. *sigh*
And as if that wasn't enough... I got WHACKED by a tennis ball right on the nose during my lesson. I don't know why... maybe the shock of it all...? But then I started crying. Yes, I know. I suck. Right?
I was in the GGG3 for awhile today... and I just wonder. How... how was I any different from those who were lonely? And there were many of them. So many lonely souls. But I felt no different, even though I am not alone. And I felt so bad and wretched for feeling so lonely when it's clear that I have people who love me!
...But it's so hard not to be lonely, when you've been alone for so many days...
And I couldn't be happy, and be strong for all the other people there, not when I myself was feeling so bad. I mean... I'm attached, aren't I? I'm supposed to be the person who cheers people up. But I couldn't. I could've bought love. If 10k could buy a person's love I could buy 22 people. But... I would never. But that... made it all the more lonelier.
I better stop... before I angst too much... *laughs* Not as though many people read this, though.
~rip out the wings of a butterfly~
AngelRaz · Tue Feb 14, 2006 @ 12:28pm · 1 Comments |