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Okay.... Sooo, yeah.... Me and Shawn's eight month was a few days ago, and we went out for wings.... Just yesterday, though, he found a letter I wrote, but never gave, to my mom about running away or being kicked out, just so that I could stay with one of my ex's..... He started to think, from the similarities in that note to the love we shared, that he was just another guy I could easily leave.... And it hurt, frankly.... Well, that's what i get, huh?

I stayed with my ex only because I was trying to make everyone see him for the good person I thought he was.... I loved him so much, and I was trying so hard to fight for him, and guess what he does....

He turns around and sleeps with my neighbor who has an STD... I know, right? I was so pissed, but I tried to look past that a few times, him sleeping with her and trying to not tell me about it, and I tried to love him through it all, but it was obvious I was trying in vain...

Shawn doesn't get how bad it hurt me to be reminded I was willing to give up everything for my ex because I was so devoted to him, and he could turn his back on me just for sex... It hurt so much to know I wasn't loved in return, or respected enough to be told the truth,...

My ex lied to my face about sleeping with my neighbor, a woman who lived right in the house behind mine, a woman whose children I babysat... He couldn't even be truthful with me....

Shawn doesnt get how much different he is to me.... I can tell, and I could tell from the first moment I laid me eyes on him, that we would get along, and that even if we broke up, he would always be there for me....

I love my fiance with all of my heart... He doesn't understand what he's done for me.... I've been through too much for a 15 year old....

That's my rant.... Peace people...

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  • [05/28/10 11:40pm]

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