Diary,
The evening has not betrayed me. I simply let time wait... and wait... I did nothing for the entire evening. I am questionable on my choices recently. I did dream last night and it was not of murder... it was of me losing my own mind and becoming psychotic. *sigh* Will that day ever come? I fear for it's approach. Youssef, Misa and Kyle are all worried of my well-being due to the message I sent them regarding my dream of the horrific nightmares. I suppose that is my own doing, but what choice to I have? All my friends are not in physical reach. Words on a screen... that has hearts attached to it <3 But, at the end of the day there is no one to hold. Why do I carry such a burden? Then, once more, because of the internet I fell in love.... Twice. And I am glad for this wonderful journey I have been given, but at what cost? The childhood I have is no more then a blank slate. Or merely scratches against a chalkboard with long, sharp nails. I can hear the screeching in my head. It makes me shiver. Though... lately, I tremble with the fear of dying in my sleep. Death... 'Tis only the begining. To die in ones sleep is pronounced as bliss in my dictionary....
Diary.... the cat is back. I have noticed something strange lately. Ever since my interest with Wicca, a cat appears outside my window at night when I study or think of it. Did you know: Cat's symbolize the Goddess? Perhaps it is a message? The fact it appears before my window and meow's seems normal. But at times when I look outside, the cat stares at me... Curiouser and curiouser my life becomes. I begged from a friend or two to pray for me at night, seeing as not many do. Praying does not much, but wish fulfillment does. I wished to speak with Misa about that this fine evening, but alas, he did not stay. I have heard, that through meditation, prayer and imagery, you CAN make a wish come true. Only if you put faith, trust and belief in what you desire. My heart is desiring love. I made a wish long ago to fall in love. And then.... I met Misa <3
Until another day beckons,
Farewell~
NakatamiHigurashi Community Member 
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