Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

my mind isn't like other people, or so I don't think. It rushes, constantly. Theres always a million and town things going through my mind all at once. It's not unusual for me to think for a more things than an average person thinks in a day, all befre breakfast. I hate it.

I wake up at seven in the morning, after only sleeping for three hours. The dark place in my mind rear it's ugly head... My dark place.. My mind, my mentality goes black. I'm in a hole. Everything bad in my life that Itry to cope with and ignore. All comes back at once. I want to cry at every moment. there is no happiness. I'm in a hole. it's dark but I can see light coming in from far above me. I try to climb out of the hold, but the bad memorys and everything i've done mrong, the apologies i never made all have hands and they pull me down even farther. But I can still look up, the light is still there, I smile. The light is still there so I an smile. The light is still there, so I have hope that I can climb out and back into the warm sunshine. I hate this hole. I want out. But the only way I know how is to forgive, apologize, and just keep moving forward. I'll climb out, someday. It may take people the rest of my life to forgive me for all the trouble i've caused.

One step at a time.

Getting out of the hole --
`Forgive Jonathan, I want to forgive again
`Let go of what I did to Toree, Because she probably doesn't remeber for me to apologize
`work harder
`Be normal, and make people proud