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ah this isnt easy at all. i love them both, but sooner or later i will only have one. sometimes i wonder if i shouldnt have either, that maybe i should be alone. because deep inside i know this isnt right to either of them. but i love them both too much, too selfish to just be alone, even though i feel like a whore. those are my thoughts, i am alone. and i am lonely but its not their fault. nope, and ill re-read both of their journals missing them. i love sly and VJR so much, im surprised my heart could even fit enough love for both of them in it. sure ppl have said i have a big heart, but is it really big enough for two guys at once? and not just that, this isnt just some stupid puppy love. i am head over heels for both, and it brings me so much pain sometimes thinking that i could only marry one irl. and those are my thoughts as of right now.