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My.Pain.Comes.With.My.Raine |
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A year ago, I met someone. Payden, To be exact. He became my best.frann ever. He loved my through all of my emotional places, Loved me for being his friend. Over the summer, He needed me. His girlfriend, of 8 months, I suppose that was the length of time, Ripped his heart out and dragged it through the mud. I was there.
We talked the whole 20 days they were broken up.
He was all I wanted, and I was at the very happiest of my existence...
He loved me a lot. He even told me he did. He said that if she broke her promise, I would become his. He would be mine...
They got back together on the 20th day. The reason she broke up with him was clear from the moment he had told me. She wanted to date someone else to make their love stronger...
I don't understand how people can break up with someone they love so much, to date someone else, to hurt that special someone, and get back together with them, and see that no harm had been done...
Not only am I humid for her asking him back out..But I'm mad because he said yes.
I'm hurting because I loved him more then myself, More than my soul, More than my body, heart, mind, and spirit. But not more than My God.. I'm broken.
Everyday is a challenge for me. I want to rip out my heart, and hold it out to you. Let you see the cracks and splits that you have caused me, Because everyday hurts, more than the last...
When I finally felt I no longer loved you, that I had moved on, I seen a picture of you, and it reminded me of why I loved you. Your so beautiful..Odd huh? I don't see you as sexy or handsome, But Beautiful...You cut me from your life not long after all of this-Hurt me worse than you being with her.. You didn't even tell me goodbye.
This time, You took my heart completely from me...
I've always felt as if I were connected to you, like, In order for a computer to be able to connect to internet, you have to pay your bill and have it hooked up. I've always felt connected to you. Even now I do..It hurts because I love you more than anything(Except God) and I mean nothing to you no longer.
When pain comes from deep within, and you have broken into a million pieces, time and time again, by the one person you want, You understand.
But if you have not yet experienced the excruciating..Agony that is to be unfolded before you, then you have not felt the pain I have. Falling for you hurt, and now I need a ambulance and 45 surgeons and doctors to put me back together again. I'm having respiratory failure, I have a flat line on my EKG. They'll continue to revive me, and keep me alive, and only when your mine..When your at least my friend again- Will I have healed enough that I won't need to be hooked up to all this machinery.
Take and take, give away, break down, futile is what I see.
Mend and mend, Put it together again, bizarre beyond belief.
Hurt and heartache, stabbing with that knife, It was you who disappointed me this time.
Cream and Roses is how I feel around you,
Now I feel like motor oil that's been far too used.
Take and take, Give away, all is futile.
Jessie
 Raine Fallen · Thu Oct 07, 2010 @ 02:47am · 1 Comments |
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