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My first mistake was telling him i loved him... Now I am left with unsure feelings and guilt. His response was no help to the dying situatuation. A firm "i love you too"
was the end of her. Never ending chase with a dead end at every cornner. Her frantic breaths uneasy and hard. Her mind exploding with fear of whats to come, yet her feelings slowly turing true. She does love him very much. She wishes and prays to make him happy. But he mind is over powering her heart. There is no way they could ever be right now. I know it's selfish making him wait, but love is long aand hard. She is too messed for him. But he still tests her limits. Sweet words sending her to the edge of histeria.His depression and hurt feelings making her die inside. No words can describe how badly she wants him. Hios arms around her tight. As she lays a loving kiss on his cheek, making his world light up. Why must he be the one she cant have? Any other guy wuldnt matter as much as he. My scars burn against the harsh world. I press harder for him. Till i break reality. 11/1/10

- Why must he make it so hard? - To love yet abandon againa and again. DAMN my life! My heart and mind say yes but my birthright has me chained to floor. My bloody tears drip off the rust of my cuffs. His cancer filled soul laying his honesty down for me.An undeserving girl who has a fream of a perfect kiss in the peaceful rain. Her dreams are shattered by their demands of obedience. As he crys in pain all she can do is look in horror. Each painful strike causes him remorse. Her limbs are useless to mend him back to life. Yet he still showers her in love and gratitude. One day she prays for freedom. Away from them and all that will be left is to love and cherish him. Her dreams are all she has left. Everynight, everymorning, everysecond, of everyday. She lays next to her lies and keeps her heart on her sleeve. Her handprint on his heart and his handprint engraved into her soul. He stole her mind, body, and soul and she wouldnt have it any other way. Toward the horizon he waits. One step at a time, taking an iternity. Till he has her and night has won. Her and him forever together. 11/1/10
You were always the one. You loved me in a way i never deserved. My emptiness filled with you. But god has a much more painful plan for us. Your dark cancer may take you away from me. My tears flowing constantly for you, my love. Why must you pay for my bad repitation? Is god trying to punish me, by giving me a man to love and then taking him away in a blimk of an eye? You say you want to leave this worl, leave me...you think it would help benefit - your wrong. My heart is black,cold,and gone without you. Yet evertime you tell me "I love you" all I can think is the life we should have had. No cancer scare, no drama, no complications. Jus love - you and I. Evertime I think of you gone my heartbeat slows down until it almost stops completly. Then I start to cry...I'm crying just writing this. See the affect you have upon me. How can you do this to me? I would be with you forever if you stayed with me on this unforgiving world. If you were with me tonight God would have no way of taking you away without taking me aswell. Love shouldn't hurt or make me cry, but I do for you. I dont know how much longer I can pretend I'm okay. Sooner or later I will break.What is your not here to put me back together? What will i do then? Die? 11/6/10

His love setd me back 7 spaces. Stumbling into romance is dangerous for a girl like me.Who has alot to give. His cheesy combacks make me smaile. The hole digging deeper and deeper into her heart. Carving his words into my soul. No turning back now. My deal has been delt and now I have made my bed to lay in with him. As we watch our future turning black already I can tell this wont end well. But he kisses my eyes shut away from the future, only living for the moment. We will love, love,love, and love until the Fin. 11/7/10

His aligations come true but leave as lies. He knows just how to catch me from falling.Just to trap me and send sweet toxic gas up my nose to faze my sight. Unable to see what is really happening. I am tricked into loving him. only to find he is intrested in more soul-less girls like me. My love is only ment for someone true but he just wants me to comfert him during his struggles. How can I trust him if I cant even trust myself? My mind and heart are so confused but cant allow anyone to see. My pain must be silent. My scars hiden, my face painted an image of good health and wellness. My laugh is hollow. My body numb fromt he neck down. I cant remember what it is to feel loved again. My lips are cold just like my heart. I am dead inside. Who is to know? My own mother has no clue. 11/8/10