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I'm having an awful time lately. My life is great and all, but I'm plagued with all these thoughts. First of all, I might not be able to have kids. While that's all fine and good right now (cause I'm 18 and too young) I might want some later. No, I'm not gonna lie. I've always had a huge weakness for kids. I can't stand seeing a child hurt. Butt whoopings don't count. Whoop they're a** if they act up. I always kinda wanted a kid, deep down. Someone who would depend on me. Someone I could watch grow and change. Someone I could look at and see a little of myself in (the good parts). But if I can't have any children, how will that happen. What makes it worse is, I had a dream last night about having my own baby. It was a lil boy around two. In my dream, I was rocking him and singing "Close to you". It really sucked.
Second, I'm single now. I feel kinda unwanted and ugly. It makes me really self conscious. I give people relationship advice, and I don't even have one. And yeah I don't need a boyfriend but I want one. The relationship between family, friends, and boyfriends are all different but it's really hard to be without any of them. You feel kinda lonely. And if I flirted with and teased my friends that'd be awkward. sweatdrop And I do NOT date pple I don't know. stare
Third I feel kinda detached from everyone lately. It's really hard. I kinda feel like we're all running and I'm falling behind, and I don't know why.

Well that's my life lately. Sucks don't it. I have what I need but something's mising. I feel like Jack Skellington. I wish something interesting would happen.