Im so lost right now, I guess everyone is at my age. All looking for their place, all searching for that sense of belonging and purpose, all caught in the stages of life wanting so badly to look back and hold on but knowing they must let go. I have to let go of my youth, let go of my past and look to the future because theres no way I can be free if I don't.
I can remember my sixth year, the year I got stitches when I stopped my bike from getting hit by a car by shoving my foot in the chain...the year my sister and I drifted apart and the year my aunt begun to take pills. None of us expected it, any of it and were all taken off guard.
I can remember my thirteenth year, the year I went crazy, the year I first smoked, drank and snuck out, the year I met my best friend. I was as lost as my brother, as sad as my mother and as crazy as my sister.
Most fondly, I remember my fifteenth year, the year that I burned down the town, the year I met David the year I shined the brightest. I was happy, always flyin high, free as a bird, it was also the year I met Jose.
Here I am now, holding the past in an clad iron grip while reaching for the future. I can't have both and I know it...My most dearest memories have to fade away and it should begin now, but I just can't bring myself to forget. I don't want to forget but to forgive and never regret I must.
Its the summer of my junior year, I have one year to let go of it all. One year, twelve months to breathe, four seasons to believe and hope for them and two semesters to leave them behind because when I leave this town I can not come back, not for love, not for peace not for memories.
Teh Mustached Marauder Community Member |
|