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~: Lisiana :~
This is my adventure, my thoughts and feelings, and my own little space on Gaia. Do you want to read all about it?
STUPID SUBJECT ALERT!
-Inhale-

I feel guilty for some reason. Heck, I always feel like this when I think I did something wrong even though others think it's right. gonk

So I went to this summer class called "Power Speech" to improve my English-speaking skills (since it is my second language) and boost my confidence.

It was our first day today, and like any other "first day of school" event, the teacher called us one by one to introduce ourselves in front of the class, told us a brief summary on what Power Speech is about, what we'll do for the summer, and what we would (probably) achieve at the end of this summer class.

Along the period of the class, the teacher asked, "Has anyone emcee-ed(?)/hosted a program before?"

And since I really had hosted school programs before, I raised my hand and she asked me what it felt like, being the emcee, and I answered "At first, it feels nerve-wrecking, but as the programs goes on, I feel comfortable with an audience watching me."

She seemed a bit shocked at first, then (I don't know if this is just in my head or not) had this "this-kid's-just-saying-something-to-make-herself-look-really-cool" look (or something like that) for a millisecond and then returned to her "teacher mode."

"Then I guess we should let her emcee the recital then!" she joked, but I had a feeling that it wasn't a joke at all and that she just did this to test the words I have just said.

And, then, when I reflected about it here (at my home), I suddenly thought to myself, "Oh, this is fudgetastic! With that answer, I probably made myself look like I'm some conceited little brat who's trying to tell the world that I'm better than most of the population this Earth has."

"Maybe I should go and apologize for letting her think like that. But I was just merely telling the truth! It wasn't being conceited, being high-and-mighty--I was just being honest about my horrible past experience as an emcee! That shouldn't be a sin, right? But it really looked like she's thinking that I'm making myself look big. Maybe I should apologize--tell her that I didn't purposely sound like I'm better than the rest, and that I will never do it again. BUT, maybe she just shrugged off my answer and didn't mind it at all. And if I apologize tomorrow, it would sound awkward and then she'll really think that I'm a conceited little brat who's trying to tell the world that I'm better than most of the population this Earth has."

-Exhale- -Pant- -Inhale-

So, now, I'm just rambling to myself at how should I approach this subject at hand. And it's really making me feel guilty about the whole purposeless event that I'm sure was exaggerated by my own confused mind, at the same time annoyed by the fact that I'm guilty over something I know shouldn't be guilty because I said the truth about my past experiences!!!

GAAAAAAAAHHH!

-Exhale-

Whoooo, got that out of my system. Honestly, I've talked to myself for, like, fifteen minutes now over some stupid topic.





 
 
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