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I'm not allowed to commit suicide
There's a law against that.
My heart's against that.
Yet I still get the urges.

My lungs still fill with the black water.
With my hair pushed against my face
and water leaking from my eyes,
it really feels true;
that I'm drowning in this life.

And I'm drowning;
drowning in the loneliness.

He's right you know... I like to draw myself back to high school. I like to pull my self by the heels to its level. I like to think of it as the highlight of my life. I've blocked out so much of the bad. I focus on the fact I had friends then... and don't now. I focus on the promises I made. I focus on the fact they were the reason I gave it all up. I didn't give it up for myself... big mistake. I thought I corrected that in college. When some friends deserted me I lived on. I told myself I would do it for me and I did... then she left. And I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I paused and reverted. I rewound and reverted. I reverted. For the life of me I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted. I reverted