Here I am and nothing I ever create will matter. Here I am, writing to myself on a website that lets me hide everything I want and show only the redeemable qualities.
People assume that since I'm studying art and making art makes me happy that I want to change the world. That I want to be this huge upstart and become the next Picasso or Monet or Banksy or who the ******** ever; that I want wealth and fame, recognition and reward. ******** that. ******** all of that.
All I want is to grow out of self hatred. I want to sing whenever I want to. I want to think of myself as genuinely beautiful and have something intelligent to say every now and again. I want someone to listen. I want to have kids some day and own a business and teach them what its like to work hard for something that matters.
I guess I just needed to get this out.
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Musings
sometimes, i feel the need to write these many, erratic, and thought consuming ideas. thats what this is. a dumping grounds.
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munka mouse
Community Member |
when all else fails... do something wierd