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...
My journal. Notes I write. Poems I write. My messages to people They will never see. Songs That remind me of my life. etc.
.:Regret:.
A quick nagging in the back of my mind.
You've made the biggest mistake of your life!
Who else will be there for you?! Who else will care?!
Who else? The question haunts my mind, clamping
it's jaws down on my throat, stopping me from
answering my own question. Names flit through
my mind, names of the people I consider my
anchors to reality. But they feel slightly out
of my reach, just a tad further than my broken
fingers can reach.
Who else... who else...?
It's wrong. Wrong that you're the only one I
can see when I close my eyes, wrong that you're
the one I want to wake up next to, when you're
the one who caused most of the bruises that line
my body. You.
Out of all people, out of all of them, why is it
you have to be the one I fall for?
Who do you think you are?! To control my emotions
so easily and then claim to not return them.
The shaking tower of cards that made up our
entertwined lives has long collapsed;
I'm a fool for trying to balance it back together
when the damage has already been done.
You're a fool for letting it fall in the first place!
It's too late anyway, those blue eyes have
already moved on, disgust filling them when
we meet. Disgust and pity.
You told me you hated me. I said the same.
I'm a Liar.
A nagging idea that maybe I could have done
better, maybe I could have rebuilt our lives
with shoddily placed promises and a hopeful smile.
But the damage has already been dealt.
It's too late.





 
 
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