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Loneliness is not a part of me
I don't have many friends and sometimes I pause to speculate why. I am not a very outgoing person, that is one thing. I sit quietly, offer friendly smiles, but not topics of conversation or sparks of curiosity. You have to draw me out like a frightened clam. You have to rub my shell gently until I trust there is no threat.
Another speculation may be is that I am not very likable. That is not it though. I know that not everyone likes me, but those are the people that have been given reasons to dislike me. Again, my loneliness falls upon my awkwardness and quiet, withdrawn replies. I am so withdrawn that my curt replies may seem like a bit at your fingers.
Then I have to speculate why I draw back answers and replies so readily.
Fear, I believe that is a large motivator. Insecurity, vulnerability, and shyness. These words emotions pretty much sum it up. Those words sum up a part of me as well. That part of me is the stranger though. The girl who you don't know and lives in a shell, so cold and smooth. That if you were to poke it, your fingers would either freeze to it or slip away.
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