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Growth in God
Basically charting my growth in God
Story beginnings (Unfinished)
Chapter 1.

Kanov walked with an eye closed and the other constantly looking around. Mind blank and yet filled with wonder. Not able to keep the thoughts back, yet not able to bring them to the surface to fill his mind. Still forming the words. Looking at each tree, and each simple brush as if stroked from an artist. Yet noticing that the imperfections made it all the more realistic. what reality wasn't without its oddities?

His thoughts were interrupted by something lightly hitting him in the back of the head. Opening his other eye he turned seeing a familiar sight. Gregory was an odd site, a big head on a small body glowing red in the sun, covered with freckles and a curly head of red hair. He seemed to always wear his finely knitted white shirt that was warn with holes and stained with dirt and washed only by the rain. Which was do to how clean he kept the rest of himself.

He himself always enjoyed to keep nicely dressed. Wearing a tucked in dress shirt with dark dress pants. Shoes cleaned and waxed each morning, which he did himself. The only thing on his body that was never neat was his head of hair. Dark brown curls that never seemed to stay down and a beard he never trimmed.

Both him and Gregory were old schoolmates in their youth, though now well past those days by five years. Gregory was always more serious with his schoolwork but never as accomplished as Kanov who seemed to grasp things more naturally, yet always a bit more rugged and jagged in his methods. Like their difference in appearance they shared a similarity in study skills, yet also the opposite. Whereas Gregory is more dirty in appearance, (not really his fault, it must be all the red) he is more tidy in his studies, and where Kanov is clean in his appearance, that the mess of tangles on his head seem to make all the more noticeable, He was rugged in jagged, yet always a step ahead of Gregory.

Turning around to ignore Gregory, Kanov closed his eye again and began contemplating. Gregory ran up and walked next to him with his hands in his pockets and eyes pointed examining his face. After a short while Gregory asked, "Why do you always have that eye closed? It seems more like a hindrance than it does anything else."

Kanov stopped and looked at his friend who took a few more steps. "Because when both eyes are open its blinding, to much light is let in. But with the one closed and the other opened I seem to see with much more clarity than I would with both open or both closed. It might be very possible to postulate that it is much the same in the idea of acceptance. You hold onto some things so you can see other things better. To fully give up on previous idea's is more hindering than to keep all idea's. But if we keep closed to all thinking it keeps us from learning more. But the question we must beg, is what do we keep and what do we allow to be given up?" He looked to his friend after his speech looking for some sort of reply.

Gregory laughed and replied to his friend, "Well reason would be something wouldn't it? How could you come to the end of a road or the end of a journey without a road to travel? Reason would be that road that we keep, and the destinations the subjects we head for."

After a seconds thought he stared at his friend once again and spoke, "Rather nicely put. But I do not believe it is complete."

Gregory flared up with a slight irritation, "I don't see what needs added, do you see something once again that I don't?"

Kanov jumped up in the fashion and poise he is known for, staring his old friend in the eyes with his one open, "Why that all roads lead to Rome of course. I've heard many people use this statement trying to say all beliefs in essence are true, and all lead to the same destination. I would disagree, if all roads lead to Rome, than the opposite must lead to someplace else. Better spoken all roads have a beginning and end, if the end is Rome then the beginning is someplace else. We all begin at that someplace else then begin to head to Rome. Some find the path to hard and turn back, others continue forward towards Rome. The beginning is the field of thought, and each field should end with the same conclusion to the ultimate question they all seek to answer. If one differs then there is an issue."

Gregory looked at his friend with slight irritation yet slight amazement. Coming to himself he asked, "Where exactly are we headed?"

"We" Kanov replied swiftly, "aren't going anywhere but to Rome."

Gregory looked forward, "Your wit seems to fail in answering my question."

"If you must know, we are heading no where special. Just the old well to sit and read." Kanov began moving his finger in the air and smiled.

Gregory looked at his person, "But you have nothing in your hands and not a place on you to even hide a book."

Kanov stopped and studied his own person, "Well I guess you are right! Then I will write one in the dirt and read it instead. I've always enjoyed a good fairy tale. Even if a bit dirty." Kanov broke into laughter that was lost to his friend.

"Must you constantly joke! I have never understood that about you. It seems as if you do nothing but joke and nothing to you is serious."

Kanov stopped his laughing long enough to say "I believe a very reasonable man once said that its the all to serious people that make the most jokes, and its the prigs that seem caught to their frowns. Of course he didn't say that exactly. That's just how I think he ought to have!" His laughter began anew then slowed, "I do hope I do not offend you with my laughter. For your sake I shall stop and start having a more timid fun. But in all honesty I had planned on making a stop before then to pick up a book from a friend. It is yet another about the slaying of dragons by great knights."

Reaching a fenced red brick house with a nicely groomed garden lining the walls Kanov stopped and admired it. "Say what you will, but this house is both a joke and a wonder. It is beauty and the beast. It is beauty because it is nicely kept. It is a beast because it is nicely kept."

Ignoring Kanovs statement Gregory asked, "Is this the house you are stopping at?"

Kanov closed both eyes and smiled, "Would I trust a hidden beast who refuses to show himself?" before letting his friend reply he completes his statement, "Of course I would. I do it every day." Kanov walked to the door opening the gate and knocking. Then stood waiting for a reply.

A young woman around the same age as Kanov and Gregory opened the door and jumped in surprise to see Kanov standing there smiling his usual grin, and with his eye closed as he usually would. She was wearing a green blouse with a matching skirt. Her brown hair was rolled up into a ball on her head and some of it poking out over her glasses. Gathering herself she simply asked, "What are you doing here?"

Kanovs' smile only grew as he put out his hand in a nobler fashion than he was used to. Opening both eyes he replied, "Why to see you of course Eliose, and request your company and the company of a book that I seemed to have forgot the pleasure of."

Taking his hand she lead him inside to her library. Finding what she was looking for afters a moments look, she turned to Kanov and smiled, " I believe this is the story you have always loved the most, your lost love."

Kanov reached for the book and began skimming through it. "These pages breath with each turn." He stopped and looked at both of his friends, "Yes, yes I know, I can be quite the prig at times. As if I actually have two penny's to rub together. Though you cannot help but speak like that at times when all the books you can find are only published because the person who writes them can afford to publish them."

Turning to walk out the door he stopped short in the library and turned saying, "It is odd how what you read most becomes you. Overtime, you are what you have done, but are defined by what you do. There is something in this, but I cannot say it is what the surface makes it seem. Like looking at a fish in water, it often distorts the fish. I am unsure though that I am looking through water, it might very well be glass."

Gregory laughed slightly, "Does everything to you have to be a philosophical deduction? Just go on and enjoy life, don't make it all into complications. That is no way of studying."

Kanov had already began walking with his back to his friends as they followed before Gregory had even spoke. His actions seemed to ignore Gregory's words, and all notions would say he either ignored his friend or did not hear his friend. Until he spoke, "What you miss Gregory is that I enjoy philosophy, so by doing philosophy I am enjoying life. It would be a crying shame if doing what you enjoyed wasn't enjoying life. Though I do not deny that we often see just that."

His steps were quick towards his destination, his friends tripping to stay caught up. They did not pass many houses on their way to the old well but there were not many houses they could have passed, mostly fields and trees. The sky was a bright blue with clouds spread across giving shade every now and again as they passed over the sun which showed that it was high noon.

Kanov began to hum and his ever present smile grew. His hum grew to a song, and the song grew into a joy. His friends had heard this song before as a lullaby his mother would sing to him as a child.

Love not lost on sight of child
Flower of my heart grown very wild
The grace bestowed upon my days
Each night with my babe as I lay

Each loving note to you I sing
My heart for you it ever clings
Love of my life forever I'll defend
Even if it brings my life its end

It was Kanovs favorite song, he would sing it often and never with a tear in his eyes. But today with his smile Eloise swore she saw a tear drop from his eye. It made her wonder if his mothers death finally got to him, or if he was just glad his mother was in his life at all.

After a half an hours walk they reached the well. There it stood in its old yet grand nature. It was left there from when there was a good sized city surrounding it. Now there it stood, nothing but farms and a small village in the distance. The scene they saw there though was always something one would only expect from a fairy tale. The beauty and the realism combined. You couldn't describe it any better than a fairy tale.

Kanov set down next to the well and opened his book and began to read. Eloise sat on one side and Gregory on the other to enjoy the scenery. After awhile of sitting there Kanov closed his book and looked at what they saw. "There is no better place to find adventure then your own front yard I heard once. I believe they were right but they were also wrong. The reason there is adventure in your front yard is the same reason there is adventure out in the world. Or why there is adventure in your own bedroom. It is because no matter where you go or where you are there is something new to discover. An adventure was never about discovering new lands, but discovering something new about the world. No one ever cared if they found nothing new about the land, only if they found something new at all. I take care now to ask you both, now remember that I only ask, that you join me on an adventure."

Both of them looked at Kanov and remained silent for a small while. Both contemplating his request. Eloise had her fathers house to tend and the books to keep, while Gregory had his books to read and his meetings to attend. Neither one were in any place to have an adventure, neither one cared to do it. But neither one wished to be without Kanov. They both had grown up with him in one way or another. Kanov often played with Eloise ever since they were young, where Gregory was quite close to him from school where they often studied, though Kanov without his text books and more with his fantasy books. Though he did not ignore the text books.

Kanov looked at them both then spoke again, "Do not worry to much about your affairs, Eloise I can set someone up to watch over your house, she is a kindly lady and does not require much at all. As for you Gregory we can take books with us on our journey and find more a long the way. As for your meetings, they weren't important anyway." Kanov laughed and began again, "No worries my friend I am only joking. But they will do fine without your intellect. It is not as if they used it properly anyway."

Both of them looked at each other then back to Kanov replying almost at the same time, "Lovely idea." Though neither of them were sure of their reply, mostly scared of his leaving. But leaving with him they would.

Kanov jumped up and spoke, "Then let us begin and step into the castle and discover the prince it holds." He helped his friends up and began to speak once again, "Do not forget, that once Bella enters the castle she is only allowed to leave under the notion of the death of the prince."

---

Chapter 2

Kanov packed what he wished into his bags and headed out his door. He walked towards his gate then turned to his house and saluted, "Goodbye my place of adventure, may I ever know you again, it shall never be to soon. You are a good friend and partner in adventure if only I could take you with me." Turning back around with the grace of a soldier he smiled with a tear in his eye for the departure of his dear friend as they parted ways.

He walked forward to his destination, forward he went till he ran into Eloise first then Gregory. Eloise carried a nice length walking stick with her, it was nicely kept and even fire hardened. It was the one her grandfather often used when he would go on walks through the village, and merry walks they were. Gregory carried his hunting knife which he often used for carving little figures on his off time from studying and his meetings, many odd and curious shapes they would come out. Kanov carried his ax that he used to chop wood for his mother to keep the house warm in the winter, you would not expect its oddity but it always cut well and hardly needed sharpened despite its use.

Kanov, of course, spoke first saying, "This is someplace, now let us head to Rome. Yes I said it, to Rome. We shall be there at the end. Forgive my speech if it is not articulated the way I normally fashion them. But I wish to keep it as simple as these roads often are. Now let us head to Rome."

Gregory smiled, "Kanov, you have never had a way with words, only arguments. If someone were to say you would be a preacher after the calling of your kind, I would laugh and tell them they better get a monkey to train him to speak right."

After a moments pause Kanov began to laugh but could not speak before Eloise went off, "A man as worthy of giving a speech as you has no right to talk of any sort of speech another man gives." She gave Kanov a slight smile and looked towards Gregory, "What would be more fitting for you would be a coat of white and buckles if you are willing to speak against this mans speech."

Kanov looked over to Gregory, "You should never get a ladies bad side since they have tongues of the purest silver!" He burst into laughter as his friends face grew more read than it had been. But Kanov turned with fire in his soles and moved forward hardly waiting for his friends, and putting on his hat of knitted fabric his mother made him before she left. "Friends with joy I inform you that all roads really do lead to Rome. Keep your feet sharp and your noses sharper." He laughed and kept his eye closed as he moved.

They passed the front gate before the sun even hit its peak in the sky, burning the trail behind them. Though the town was spread, its limits were marked by a gate which hardly spread the landscape as it did once before. Kanov's humming reached each nearby ear, even those of the sheep. He seemed always to be humming some tune under his breath. Always with that smile under the brim of his nose, and a glimmer in his eye.

The spring in their steps kicked the dirt from the road they walked. The bottom of their jeans and skirt covered by what they kicked up. For quite awhile they walked in silence, Kanovs resolve unbroken. The first to break the silence was Gregory, he talked of his meetings and his idea's. How he thought that the sciences would break through to magnificent truth. To tell us the workings of the universe, about the strings that hold the earth and move the sun or even the opposite. They tolerated his speech despite having little interest in it. Kanov kept his smile and listened, only slightly interested in what it would mean. His mind was more interested in the conclusions.

"That is why" Gregory demanded, "science is above everything, without science we would not know what to reason about."

Kanov looked at his friend, back turned facing the path they walked. He pondered on his friends words then asked, "What is it that we base our scientific research on? Is not scientific research the birth of something else? If it is not, how do you know it is reasonable that the apple should fall on the floor each time, would it not be equally reasonable that it fly to the sky if we have nothing to base science on?"

Gregory smirked, "You are now in my field. Because science shows us in repetition that it will happen again."

Kanov fell on his butt and began to laugh, "Well that's fine and dandy, but why do you say that? Because it has shown you this? Well I tell you on what basis to accept this claim? By what 'reason'?"

Gregory stopped and looked down at his fallen friend, "What are you trying to say?"

Kanov looked up requesting help before his reply. While being helped up he explained, "Well you accept that the apple will keep falling through reason. Reason on the other hand is not something that is scientifically proven, rather it is already accepted by science in order for science to work. Meaning the central form of though isn't science. Rather it is philosophy."

Gregory let him hit the ground again, "Maybe you can reason out while you fell." His smirk became large thinking he had caught him in his game.

Kanov laughed more, "Well it is because one can reason that we can explain it at all."

Kanov looked towards Eloise and smiled, "You have been oddly silent Eloise. What are your thoughts circling around?"

Eloise looked up at the sky, "I wonder what it would be like to fly." She said with a slight grin. She studied the blue sky and wondered over that thought.

Kanov stopped and began to look very serious. "This is an important question. Might I try to answer it for you?"

Eloise laughed, "Yes, because you have flown?"

"Well I have not flown," He looked away, "But I have had strong desires that I have completed. When I was young I wished to jump, then I learned to jump. After jumping I loved to jump, but after a bit grew tired of the act. I did not wish to do it anymore. I have found I prefer to walk. My joy to jump was an excitement, like a splash of water that wakes you up. My joy to walk is a blessing like my joy of eating or the flow of water, it is constant and does the most to widen its lengths. If you wish to know how it is like to fly, jump. Does this answer your question?"

Eloise looked at him and stopped short of the tree that had long since been dead, though life grew all around it. She bent down and picked up a wild flower growing from its base. "You may be right, but I still wish to fly to see if you are right."

Kanov messed up her hair and looked at Gregory, "I like to believe we all have flown in the excitements given to us in our lives. We just forget the slight pleasures that blanket us and keep us warm."

Looking ahead he stopped them. He spotted a small village of about 10 houses. Each covered with red tiles on the roofs and the roads made by paths of broken stones and dirt where many were missing. "Lovely we have run into a small gathering, maybe even a place to stay for the night. If not we must stay under the roof of the sky instead. At least God has left us that comfort, yes?"

They knocked on the first door to no reply. Then the second and third. After the fifth he stopped knocking. He would say the village was empty if it wasn't for the freshly dug flower gardens and obvious stands which showed recent activity. "We are either unwanted guests," Kanov frowned "or they were unwanted guests."

Gregory looked around, "If they are the villagers here how could they possibly be unwanted guests? Everyone else would be the guests and they the hosts."

"True Gregory, but are not tenants both the host and the guest? They are the hosts to the visitors, but the guest to the owner. Its very likely they were seen as tenants or were tenants to someone else, or multiple someones. But it is impossible to tell for now, so I believe our roof is the sky above our heads tonight. I do hope you brought blankets."

Eloise stopped him, "But if they were the unwanted guests, who didn't want them?"

"I do not know, and nor could I know. I would also wonder why we are so unwanted."





 
 
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