What a way to start a December


So, it's one of those months were a lot of things is supposed to happen. Christmas is coming up and that may seem a little exciting. As you get older, you learn that Santa isn't real and getting gifts seems fun, but it may suck when you don't really want to give. I also have a birthday this month, I am hoping it might look better that what it was last year.

To really start off my month though, just this week, I had gotten a panic attack. Over not understanding that I can get muscle spasms in my eyes, I mistook it for seizure. When I came to school Monday, I couldn't get through my first period class and it happened. I got out of school, felt really weak, then I went to the doctor. Then spent the next day resting.

After all this stuff happening, I felt like I got a little wake up call reminding me that anything can happen to me at any time. I may have after effects for a long time after this event. My life will hopefully get better as I cope with all this junk that happens to me. Be able to look back and laugh on this happening. Seems like the only thing that happens to me know is it get headaches at time, but I deal with it and put it off.

Now since I have exams coming up, I will really have to be relaxed because I will be sitting in a class room taking a test for up to two hours and that will surely test me. Not just the exam, but the thought of being able to not spazz out, but I will just have to stay calm and I will make it. I might as well keep in prayer and remember that God is with me in my time of need and will never betray me.

Besides the down part, my birthday might be something look forward too. Might be able to have a few people over at my house, maybe? Kinda going to be boring for people since I have no super amazing video game consoles. I feel bad about birthday presents too, I have no way to buy people presents either and it makes me feel worse because I have no money. To be able to truly please someone, must you truly require goods to appease someone? In some cases, it may not be true if someone can understand your family's financial problems.

Well, as I look up from this point on, I will keep hoping and trying to reach an understanding of myself this month. Try to see what makes me calm and what gives me most joy, not like I forgot, just being under stress, my mind keeps running in circles and I cannot think of anything.