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The End?


In the darkness of my mind,
I find a lack of sleep.
And in this lack,
I sink into the deep.

Here, voices once more ring loud,
here, in this never-ending labyrinth.
I come to let my thoughts confound,
to find what still can't be found.

These voices from the past,
that haunt me so.
They will not let me live,
they won't let me go.

These friends that I surround myself with,
they curse with me with two-edged sword.
They give me peace and rest,
but remind me of the past with all its worth.

These voices that surround me,
voices of things that could be.
They remind me of things long past,
of things that did not last.

Bur through these voices comes one,
that shelters me from that pain.
One that comes from those voices,
but helps me as like the rain.

She reaches out through them,
showing me the beauty in a smile.
But as I take that hand,
the voices follow me all the while.

The voices, these ghosts,
take on the people that I've hated most.
But looking at them they twist,
and I realize that its me that I've hated most.

This person that I've become,
this shell that lacks any whole.
This life that has lacked purpose,
no matter what I tried to fill that hole.

No amount of friendship can show,
no amount of light can drive away.
This darkness that clouds my mind,
that drives away the light of day.

These friends that I help stand,
that I help to heal.
How could it be that I couldn't see,
that it was I who needed to heal?

To be rid of these voices,
to finally become whole.
To be able to feel that precious feeling,
that burns as bright as coal.

I took advantage of anothers' feeling of that,
fooling myself into thinking I was worthy.
Now I walk these shadows alone,
feeling so much lower than curry.

My first gift to her was life,
and than the promise of something anew.
Instead of letting her heal,
I tore that feeling askew.

Now she wanders confused,
lost in a world that swallows all.
But she will find that feeling again,
but me, I answer another call.

That pure feeling that I saw,
that I hoped to recapture.
The could once again make me whole,
is no longer part of my call.

That feeling that was within my grasp,
that I fooled myself into thinking was mine.
Thinking myself worthy to hold the hand within my grasp,
but now I see beyond my mask.

The hand that I now let go,
to only stand beside her as I should.
On these two legs I watch her go,
with more strength than I could.

That feeling that I once held,
that once made me whole.
Now tears me apart,
never more to become whole.

Tonight, this labrynth is red,
with the feelings that I've dread.
This room that in, I now sit,
watching this crimson now drip.

The past pulled its blind over me,
hindering my clear eye to see.
But with her words I can now show,
that feeling to me, will never glow.

Tonight these walls will be painted red,
with the feelings that I've long since dread.
That at the end of this life's path,
no one will think I'm dead.

For I've no one to show,
that other worldy, heavenly glow.
In this hand that once grasped yours,
I now finish what had been yours.

Not to die,
but to live.
For your sake and mine,
I choose to live.