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Jezuz I feel really depressed. Looks like all this excitement comes for like 2 days and disappears again. I can't stand up for myself and I feel like a total douschebag. The stupid kid sitting in front of me, Wesley, keeps telling me he's gonna slap me. He always tells me to shut up and now he's just pissing me off. I'm not that type of guy who has anger issues and just as I told you before, I'm a 50-50 fighter. I can't risk getting expelled so maybe I could just make up some random jokes and get him off of me.

I feel like my friend who.... I call Kool Aid is a traitor. And she's the only friend I gots who's not a guy. She makes these Donkey Kong faces and uses that Schwarzenneger voice and says, " You disgust me". She's one of those old friends who used to support me when I was a joker. Now I just make smiles everywhere but don't make jokes. I feel bitchy and I seriously want to cut myself, but I figure I'm too old for those emo shenanygens(however you spell it). I'm terrible at public speaking and I get this gloomy tone and use a low-pitched voice whenever I talk to the teacher. Randomly I use my normal high-pitched voice but thats rarely. I miss that adrenaline I use to feel everyday from joking around and using those classic pranks. I wish I had that confidence back but I'm doing terrible. Anyone else feel that way?