Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Cigarettes,
Like burnt coffee, drenching a burning in my chest,
A thirst for more than the smoke that fills my lungs.
A consistent breeze carrying away my inconsistent need
For approval and affection,
Telling me my sloppy mistakes that plague my skin
Is all but what I imagined.
But I was up to my mouth in an ocean too deep for me,
Drowning slowly over time with each inhale of salty liquor,
An intoxication clouding my senses as I begin to see a light.
A light? A possibility of salvation in this forsaken sea?
My own miserable outlook no longer drowning in memories,
But bliss forming out of a sea of forgetfulness.
Perhaps a destiny more sympathetic to my needs for knowledge,
Knowing that such a path leads to the rain swelling,
Arguing for a meal of the ground settled below my eyes.
A feast, yet another night where my room becomes a sea
And I’m forced into my closet where my nightmares hunt me,
Haunting every fiber of my soul that looms in the darkness of dreams.
The forests of hanging willowed clothes, draping over my desperation,
Hide me away from their taunts of my inferiority.
I was alone with these skeletons and elephants,
Like trampling death, they never make friends,
Not even amongst themselves.
Rather, they tear themselves apart diligently,
Creating an altered sense of time and perception,
Another fault to add to the resume that leaves me without purpose.
But like the burnt coffee in my hands, I’m dwindling,
Burning out slowly into ashes and embers of a another
Cigarette.