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I just don't know anymore... I don't think I ever knew what to do I'm always so confused.. but right now I'm clueless... lost in the middle of no where its just so useless.. soo hopeless... I try doing the right thing but then I have second thoughts about what the right thing is..
I stay... I leave.. I stay thinking I can make it thruogh this thinking I'm strong enough and can handle anything but truth is I can't its just too much sometimes.. so I leave thinking I should get away from it all I say I'm gone but that's a lie because I can't leave knowing things aren't right and everything is just so wrong...
I pretend to be happy fake some smiles and laughs so you don't know how I truely feel inside- hurt, crushed, depressed, aching, dieing, broken apart, screaming, lifeless- when you sum that all up together you get that "I'm fine".
Somedays I break.. I'm just human.. everything just builds and builds and it just explodes .. I know sometimes its alright not to be okay but is it normal to feel so exhausted all the time..?
I try to forget everything... try and act like it never happened but it did it lives inside of me forever its impossible to be forgotten the good and the bad times its memories that I will always remember it changed me for the better or worse
I also regret nothing because lifes not ment to be full or regrets everything at one point made you happy you should never regret what once made you smile
I miss how things use to be I really do I mean like sometimes I just wish I could jump inside a time machine to revisit the past and live it over again but I've learned to accept the fact that things have changed so I keep my head up ready to move foward to see what the future holds
They say that things start with goodbye but I can never find the "good" in goodbyes I know sooner or later I will learn to say goodbye but for now all I can just say is:
until next time...