Notes and Autobiographical Observations on Mental Stability
There are two phase moods, one of which make fits and "the voice" accessible;
Good and Neutral
Good: Bright and kind, usually laughing and humorous, excited and happy. Most common around friends and in public.
Neutral: Quiet, spacy and monotonous in tone. Usually hugs inanimate objects in attempt to become Good. Most sentimental and easy to trigger in this mood.
Sober Fits and Declining Actions:
Sober Fits:
Fits occur when subject has not fed their addiction, or when there is a trigger or situational cause. During these fits, subject has tendency to be violent in nature, and are wild and uncontrollable.
Most who experience these fits get attributes familiar to their own self, but the most common are:
-Shakiness
-heavy breathing
-mild to severe temporary blindness
-nausea
-more violence
-hunger
-vomiting
-loss of consciousness.
*Fits tend to be only accessible in Neutral mood, or when listening to the voices.
Declining Actions:
After a sober fit, subject may be prone to "declining actions" when recovering from a sober fit. They may occur immediately, or days after a fit, but are only accessible in neutral mood. Most common declining actions are:
-Gory, Explicit, or mentally disturbing works of art.
-Sensitivity to particular subjects, usually trigger related.
-Bitterness or hatred towards an object of relation to trigger.
-Murderous thoughts or tendencies
-Destruction of self-property with no recollection or reason.
-Spaciness and loss of focus.
-Self-sworn silence
Further Notation and Discovery
I found out that a "voice" talks to me when I'm in my neutral personality.
It's a strange sensation, both when it takes over me and when it talks to me.
When it takes over me, it's like a grabbing in my throat and jaw. I begin to shake and can feel it overtaking my mind.
When it talks to me, it's like I have two people inside me at once. I noticed it can only talk to me in the bathroom mirror...or at least, that's where she's most comfortable.
It's similar to Alyssa and Wall. I found out she has a name, too. Her name is Meira-El.
I don't like her. It...might be my subconscious, forming my inner bitterness into words, but it might also be something more.
I hate being an indigo.
I drew a picture of her for reference.
Ugh.
View User's Journal
|
 |
Depressed_Devils_Wings
Community Member |
||||||||||||||||
