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On occasion, I'll read a thread about a guy who is real upset because he doesn't have any friends. Or maybe it's not that he doesn't have friends, but that he doesn't have a girlfriend. I wouldn't say it's super common, but I see it every now and then. I usually glaze over them, because I don't have any advice.

A couple I can think of go something like "I'm the nicest guy in the world, yet I've never even kissed a girl" or something like that. I've read quite a few threads like that and I've never replied.

I mean, if you don't have any friends, or if you've never had a girlfriend, there's probably something wrong with you. But some of the threads are real honest like, "I need advice. I don't want to be a loser. How do I meet people?"

I like it when they say things like that. It makes me think they really want to change, which is something I can appreciate in just about anyone.

Other times, it's just a big rant. They go on about other people, the world, their life, their family, all this stuff. It's real silly, because it reveals why they don't have friends. No one wants to be with a friend who fusses or blames his problems on everyone else.

The other day I was thinking about what people can do to get people to like them. Basically, you need to be able to offer them something. You need to give them a reason to like you. Sometimes, people will think "I'm not attractive so I'll never get a girl", but that's not always the case.

I don't consider myself the most handsome guy. In fact, I'm pretty aware of how unattractive I can be at times. I don't sit around crying about it, but I'm conscious about it. My offer to my partner isn't in looks. It's in my personality and how I treat them.

I'm a pretty thoughtful guy and I'm always trying to improve myself and I make an effort to be aware of my partner's needs. When it comes charming someone, I try to make the person aware of what I can offer. After all, it's the only thing I have that someone else doesn't. I guess, if I was some sort of economist, I might say something like 'most valuable commodity'.

Like any form of dating, it doesn't work with everyone, and that's completely fine with me. It seems to me that if someone doesn't see that about me, they're not thoughtful (thoughtful being one of the things I'm attracted to). So, if they're not into me, that's completely fine with me.

Charming, for me, isn't an immediate thing. It takes months of getting to know someone, and letting them know about me. I don't win them over when they first see me. When I walk into a room, I'm not the guy everyone wants to get with. If I find someone I like or maybe I'm attracted to, I have to work around that. And that's just how it goes.

I'd like to mention that the internet has a big thing about the 'friendzone' and a lot of people seem to think that just because they're nice, they're entitled to a girlfriend or something. They say things like, "it's not fair".

And it's not about life being 'fair' or anything like that, it's just how it goes. Sometimes people like to make a big deal about life being 'fair', but fairness has nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with things like this, anyway.

Some of the people who have problems like finding dates need to look at themselves and seriously ask what they have to offer that someone else doesn't have.

Beyond that, there's a whole bunch of things to consider. Like anything, it's just not as simple as selling yourself better. Sometimes it's what you want from a partner, what you look for, how you're approaching these people, the other person's wants and desires.

Sometimes, I think there are people out there that actually have nothing to offer. Or maybe what they have, no one wants. And I guess that's a whole different kind of problem, huh?

Sometimes, I feel bad for people who really do have it worse off, worse enough that they can't fix it. But maybe that's only a few people. I'm never really sure. After all, I've seen some unattractive, unintelligent people with wives and kids.

Maybe sometimes it's about what you're willing to settle for, and that's just the way it is.

But that's really too bad. I know I don't want to settle for someone, convinced they're the best I can get.

It's too bad sometimes. It really is.