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I've actually come to realize something a few days ago. That we humans are stuck between heaven and hell. God and Satan. I believe its the humans who has the control of their own life, but that God and Satan throws in the real life hardships to motivate humans to make a decision for themselves either become pure, tained, believers, non believers...or who are like me, stuck in the middle.
I argue with God and Satan all the time because of all the bad luck I've been having. If God was there to save you and guide you then where has he been for me? While Satan is here to cause you hardships, pain and suffering.
It's a battle between these two...you see it every day...
I've asked for death so many times...telling it sometimes to just take me...I can't bare the thought of living in our planet Earth if it's only just nothing but a war among each other. Not just in military, but all over the world, battles are always breaking. It's sickening and it pisses me off because I am also in my own battle between the real world, life it self...I hate all of it.

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Searching for the NEW me. I will not pray for God. I've already gone down hill and HELL awaits me. There's no saving my soul. Those that crossed me I curse. I curse them 10 thousand times over! GOODBYE MY OLD SELF!