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Wow ... I just looked at my profile, and the last time I logged on I was a freshman in college (so around 2011-2012). I am now a first year medical student, and I'm almost done with my first year.

It's been a tough year for me already. My grandma died two weeks ago; her funeral is tomorrow. I finished finals last week. I passed this block, luckily. I had such difficulties focusing because my mind would wander. I'm so thankful I kept up with studying at the beginning of the block, or else I would have been screwed for sure. I think I made it through this last finals week because of my grandma. I know she was there helping me and pushing me to see it through.

I love you, grandma. You're with me even now even if you're not here physically. You reside in my heart.

We went up to Joshua Tree after finals. You were there with me to enjoy the sunset and moonrise. I know it. Were you as impressed by the purples and blues? I never want to forget it. It was so beautiful. Are you up there? Were you present in the purple and blues? Your eyes were blue -- the purest of blues. Like ice. I was always so annoyed with the fact that my eyes were brown, and you were the only one in our family with blue eyes. Now, I feel like I understand: I have my other tita's eyes, but I have your name.

I know how important education was to you. You never were able to purse it like you probably would have liked to. You married at 18 and had my dad at 19. You warned all your grandkids against getting involved with someone too young. Well, you've succeeded in scaring me away from relationships. Hahah. Just kidding. But I did take you seriously when you told me to focus on my school work, and hey, I think it paid off. I know you love that our name is on my white coat. One day, our name will be preceded by "Dr." or followed by "MD."

We did it, grandma. We're doing things. I only hope I continue to make you proud.

I love you. (More, more, more.)