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Finding somewhere to live has been going, well not great. It's been going s**t.

I guess I have an eviction, which is dandy. They say on your rental background for about 7 years you know, so that's 7 years of struggling to find someone willing to rent to me.

I don't have 7 years though. I have until the end of this year. That's only if I'm lucky and they meant it when they said that - which lets be honest here, their word means nothing. I could be out next month.

More realistically, I'm probably going to go back to my cycle of being kicked out for a few days once a month, once everyone gets back to work. Right now, they need me since I'm the only one with stable income still and we have bills to pay.. of course now most of what I have goes to that, so that sucks.

I can't even save up money to get out of here, because the only value I have is that I'm paying for everyone's bills.

Then there's craigslist. Practically the only place I could find somewhere to live, they don't do background checks and all. But I can't afford anything. I can't even afford to share a room. Let alone the deposit. I was hoping to use that stimulus for my deposit, but my mom falsely claimed me as a dependent.. which makes so much more problems that I had to deal with. Now I'm at the 'the IRS is closed so lets hope this doesn't suck more for me' part. You know. Waiting. Worrying. Etc.

See, she did that right after she found out dependents don't get the stimulus. She does s**t like this. While here she broke our toilet.

Like she actually broke it. I had to pay for half of it, which meant more savings (that are now gone) being used for something else. You know how it broke? The plumber found - get this - dozens of plastic gloves that someone had been flushing down the toilet. Then she tries blaming me, but of course no one believes that - they're just used to her crazy now. Like, seriously, she broke the toilet by flushing her plastic gloves - which everyone knows where hers since they're literally from a box she stole from work.

Yep.

Also lied to the government, twice in the time I've been here. Specifically things that made me have to deal with a bunch of crap. Constantly stealing money from me, and then threatening me. Like actually stealing. As in, seen her rummaging through my things and then screams at me saying she wasn't rummaging through my things. I've gotten better at hiding my valuables. Fun life.

Anyway, bad living situation. No money, and crippling debt.

Medical bills aren't cheap, and when I got here I was extremely sick. My insurance won't cover it, and ER visits aren't free. Then my cat died. My ******** cat. The best cat anyone would ever know. Putting him down wasn't free either. Sure as hell wasn't easy.

So thousands in debt, no savings, a terrible credit, and an eviction. My dad has good credit though, but he was very clear that he wouldn't co-sign an apartment for me. Can't trust me after I told him that after the breakup it counted as an eviction, and I told him because I needed the help. Great.

There's low-income housing in the area though. But when I called, the waiting list is about 4 years. Just to wait for an apartment. Section 8? 12 years.

I don't even have one year. I have maybe six months.

Times like this people normally turn to friends and family for help. I don't have any friends. My family, well you can imagine my mom and dad. Everyone else would rather not deal with my mom than do anything. It's sad and funny how everyone knows she's an alcoholic, one of my aunts even made a joke to me and grandma last I saw her about it. Though when I laughed, everyone gave me this pity look. Like they know it sucks for me, but who gives a s**t, right?

First time I was a bum while here, I hadn't recovered from surgery. I was in pain, sick, and all around not having a great time. So I contacted everyone. It went terrible. Most people ghosted me, the other ones said 'no sorry can't help'. Which is fine, no one's obligated to help anyone.

But then you find out that your most well put together aunt. She's all religious and does a lot of charity for it, works for social security, even owns her own home and all that, has had a vacant room in her house. One she's been renting until the person vanished. A fully furnished room too! For about how much I'm paying to sleep in a closet. Only it's an actual safe place to live.

I asked about it, and she avoided the question.

When my incel cousins were alcoholics, and didn't pay their rent for about 4 months and got evicted, she let them stay there. Rent free. For a year. I'm asking to pay for the room!

This is all really hopeless. Part of me feels like finding the highest bridge to jump off of. Most are fenced though, besides the one, but you have to get into a car to go on it. I did read this story of a guy who took a lyft onto it, got out, and just casually hopped off.

Things rarely seem to work out for long.

At least I still have six months to figure it out.