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------"I love you," I don't say it more often. When I was younger a friend who was influential to me told me to keep that phrase for reserved. So that when I do say it; it should mean something and it will be powerful. So for the longest time I coveted this three word sentence. I keep it reserved, like a loaded gun. When I pull the trigger it should pierce the listener because they'll know I really mean it. I've been following this doctrine for quite sometime now perhaps a couple of years. I wish I hadn't.

------I found myself lonely instead. That when I shot my words, sometimes it would miss; that those words would fall on deaf ears. Sometimes I told them to the wrong person and they never reciprocated back with their own "I love you." Sometimes I wish I had said it but I held back and now its too late and they're gone. I feel like if I had just said these words to some of my friends, that they would have stayed over the years and our friendship wouldn't have decayed.

------These words can be very warming. It often makes my day when I receive a random text from my mom telling me she loves me. I wish people say it more rather than keeping it reserved. I want things to be more open rather than closed. Whats the point of keeping feelings bottled up. I love hearing from Katt whenever I see her and she'll just hit me with the random "I love you," that she tells all her friends. It makes me feel warm and wanted. It makes the day brighter. It makes me want to kill myself less at the end of the day. It makes the world less bleak as it already is.

------So I will try to say it more often. I believe the saying is, "what comes around goes around". That if I say it more and keep my heart more open, I'll also hear it more. I love you, my reader, who cares enough to explore my thoughts and my entire life experience in this book.

Thanks for reading, This is Anikacy, I love you.