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i know i have it in me to do great things

what the ******** is bringing me down

everyone seems so confident

like their destinies were predetermined

and they were given maps.

why am i formatting like this

idk

what the ******** else can i do

i dont have the strength to keep going

i wish people would see me for who i am

and not just the body

i am working

so hard

to change.

my body

is willing

and

ABLE

to perform.

i want this so badly.

a little bit of validation goes a long way.

i dont want to ask for it.

then it is undeserved.

my face

is

ugly.

standards

are

double.

why do i have to pretend--

to be someone im not--

to make them think

im worthy?

in an industry where self-love

inclusivity

diversity

and individuality are celebrated,

accepted

widespread

as ideas,

why arent they actually practiced?

self-love is now vanity and a superiority complex.

inclusivity and diversity are holidays and summer stock seasons.

individuality.

individuality.

individuality.

individuality.

individuality.

individuality

is destroyed

in programs

with molds

and guidelines

and

i cant finish