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My face is flushed with tears, and I don't know why.

I had a bit of an argument with a friend last night, but whatever. I didn't let it ruin my day.

I never have felt like this before. It's like being stuffed with too many songs, too much love, too many complaints, too many bloodshot minutes, too much life.

Yet . . . I have never felt so amazing before.

God, some song lyrics make me want to grab Tomás by the collar of his shirt and sob into his shoulder. I've never loved anyone so much . . .

You may call it fake, and untrue, and fantasized. But, you know what? I don't care anymore, about what you may think. I love my boyfriend. He is like no other, and consistently reminds me of how beautiful I am. He is, truly, a poet. The way he structures his sentences, his thoughts, and the way his voice adds emphasis on certain words, and the way he laughs and whimpers before he sobs just is another Sharpie stain on my heart's walls.

I don't think I've ever felt love before. But this is so unusual. I have never felt like living and dying and crying and laughing and making love and making war and talking back and being disrespectful to my elders . . . all at the same damn time.

. . . We came back from FL today. Amazing state, really. Amazing. Not much to say except, I sat through ten hours of "WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?!" and "I LUFF PONIES! I LUFF TEDDY BEARS! I LUFF MY FAMILYYYYY!"

a) Cartoon.
b) Baby sister.

But today, minus the whole fight thing, even though it gnawed at me, I know that she and I will move on. And we will realize that we fought over something that wasn't worth fighting over, and that eternal happiness was just a blindly-followed path.

But oh Jesus. I just want to grab my beautiful Tomás and hug him and kiss him and do things I'm not allowed to do to him. XD

But I was telling him. I don't want him for his athletic abilities. For his. Um. Size. redface

I don't want him for the little things. The unimportant.

I want him for him, because he is the most amazingly wonderful person I have ever met.

Having said this, Tomás has the power to destroy me. And I have the power to do so to him, as well.

But that power is locked away. There is no need for it. We are not hurtful people, and we do not want to suffer anymore. We know what it's like to drag on through a horrid relationship.

But by God. If I died right now, it would truly be okay.

It would all be okay. As long as he comes with.