i've had a few dreams this week of me and john getting back together
its been pissing me off
and today i keep thinking about going and hanging out with him..trying to be friends again
but then i see myself crying all over again
sigh....
i still miss him sad
but this song made me happy/sad:
Guess Who I've Been Kissing by Park
It's cold outside
Can you guess who I've been kissing?
To get you off my mind
His hands are strong
And his eyes look long into mine
Straight lines
Never looks off to the left
Wrong
Guess again
You'll never
Supposedly could have been
Just a cheap friend
It was anyone but you
I was missing
It's warm inside
Now that you are off my mind
This time seems so short of notice
Did you think I ever cared about you?
It's funny how I picture us now
Wrong
Guess again
You'll never
Supposedly could have been
Just a cheap friend
It was anyone but you
I was missing
Guess who I've been kissing....
~It makes me think of a ...look i've got someone so much better than you... type of thought
mom: what are his ambitions? does he go to school? does he have a job?
ask that question about john and its like... no...he doesnt have ANY ambitions
i guess i miss his humor...his childish smiles
i've thrown every behavior and cuteness from past relationships into the next one
when i was with jared i would find myself doing what we did on the phone with john
not intentionally..its just..i found it so cute and it made me happy with the response i got..so i tried it again..with someone else
when i do that i feel like i'm being fake or something..that the person i'm with i dont really love
but i do
i swear i do
so now when i tell jarrod i love him i feel like i'm talking to john
but i'm not
because i'm on the phone
and the person on the other end is talking to me
there is no possible way it could be john on the other end
my love was superior to his...i know that now and i always felt it
i gave him little presents to show him i loved him
i didnt get them back
but he told me he loved me so that should suffice..right?
~I'm so stupid and clueless and used to the music that makes up my life
And oh if I could find the time to tell someone I'm bleeding from the inside~
~You might think I'm making this up
To tell you the truth
I really wish I was
Making this up~
You think finding someone that treats you so well and how you've always wanted to be treated would be enough to help you instantly get over someone...
I guess not
Why do I miss him?
WHY?
What's there to miss about HIM that I couldn't find in someone else?
But then I'd feel like I'm comparing people...and in my mind it's not fair to the person I'm with...
I can't help it
I swear to god I love you
I guess that's all I should think about
I'll go with what cher said...
come Friday..everything will be better because I'll be in his arms and the world..
This STUPID world
will fade
just............................fade
< 3
its been pissing me off
and today i keep thinking about going and hanging out with him..trying to be friends again
but then i see myself crying all over again
sigh....
i still miss him sad
but this song made me happy/sad:
Guess Who I've Been Kissing by Park
It's cold outside
Can you guess who I've been kissing?
To get you off my mind
His hands are strong
And his eyes look long into mine
Straight lines
Never looks off to the left
Wrong
Guess again
You'll never
Supposedly could have been
Just a cheap friend
It was anyone but you
I was missing
It's warm inside
Now that you are off my mind
This time seems so short of notice
Did you think I ever cared about you?
It's funny how I picture us now
Wrong
Guess again
You'll never
Supposedly could have been
Just a cheap friend
It was anyone but you
I was missing
Guess who I've been kissing....
~It makes me think of a ...look i've got someone so much better than you... type of thought
mom: what are his ambitions? does he go to school? does he have a job?
ask that question about john and its like... no...he doesnt have ANY ambitions
i guess i miss his humor...his childish smiles
i've thrown every behavior and cuteness from past relationships into the next one
when i was with jared i would find myself doing what we did on the phone with john
not intentionally..its just..i found it so cute and it made me happy with the response i got..so i tried it again..with someone else
when i do that i feel like i'm being fake or something..that the person i'm with i dont really love
but i do
i swear i do
so now when i tell jarrod i love him i feel like i'm talking to john
but i'm not
because i'm on the phone
and the person on the other end is talking to me
there is no possible way it could be john on the other end
my love was superior to his...i know that now and i always felt it
i gave him little presents to show him i loved him
i didnt get them back
but he told me he loved me so that should suffice..right?
~I'm so stupid and clueless and used to the music that makes up my life
And oh if I could find the time to tell someone I'm bleeding from the inside~
~You might think I'm making this up
To tell you the truth
I really wish I was
Making this up~
You think finding someone that treats you so well and how you've always wanted to be treated would be enough to help you instantly get over someone...
I guess not
Why do I miss him?
WHY?
What's there to miss about HIM that I couldn't find in someone else?
But then I'd feel like I'm comparing people...and in my mind it's not fair to the person I'm with...
I can't help it
I swear to god I love you
I guess that's all I should think about
I'll go with what cher said...
come Friday..everything will be better because I'll be in his arms and the world..
This STUPID world
will fade
just............................fade
< 3
Community Member
I dont know all the details but I think Jarrod is 100x better. He really cares about all his friends and ESPECIALLY YOU. And he's not afraid to tell you.
IlyBothSoMuch and I want you to be happy. <33
Have fun on Friday! ;DD