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True Friendship

Are you tired of those sissy-a** "friendship" poems
that always sound good, but never actually come close
to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that
actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry b*****d who made you
sad!

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you!

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got some!

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it
every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be until you
quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me
until you are well again. I don't want whatever you
have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your
clumsy a**! (I thought you were dancing!).

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?"
you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Remember......A good friend will help you
move.........
a REALLY good friend will help you move a body.......
let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can
see it, but only you can feel the true warmth !