I was driving down the M50 (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, Walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk,asked:
"Runway too short ?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused.
"A what?"
"A rectum stretcher?"
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely Stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
Behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: €105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: €1,145.00c
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
 freaksword · Wed Oct 04, 2006 @ 10:33pm · 2 Comments |
