People say that I'm emotional... a little TOO emotional. Yeah, and also sensitive. If I don't say it outloud, I still think it: "I don't need to be reminded twice."
I try to be a better person... I really do. But it seems that I do a very bad job at it. I whine, I beg, I'm just so...... pathetic. I get into fights, I annoy others... perhaps I should just keep my damn mouth shut and only open it when another person talks to me, first. And keep my own thoughts to myself. People can be annoying, but I'm sure that I'm one of the Top 5 Annoying People. I'm also pretty emotional, too... not to mention P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!
Sure, I want to RP all the time... but I guess AM overdoing it with the asking and the begging and all that other crap. I just don't know what to do...
I'm also certain that I'm gonna keep ending up having fights with my friends and end up losing all of them by the end of 2006 or 2007. I already am trying to avoid having any more friends... not to mention, staying single and avoiding falling in love.
But what does love and friendship have to do with my feelings? Everything. If I didn't have friends and people who loved me... I wouldn't be alive right now. They're the "shields" that are preventing me from attempting/commiting suicide. They talk me out of it. They make me think. But imagine what would it be like... if I lost them all. No friends. No one that loves me. All alone. Forever. My friends are my lifeline, basically. And if I don't become a better person soon, and keep up with being the way I am now... I'll lose them all. Forever.
To my friends and all that care about me: Thank you.
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My One and Only World
Yet ANOTHER journal to add to my "Barely Write In" list
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