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Ranma 1/2: Maison Bailesu
Howdy, all! OK, I'll just assume you've already read John Biles' lemon parody LEMONADE by now... what, you haven't? Go find it and read it right now! Plugs aside, this story won't make much sense if you don't. I know this is billed as a side story, but it doesn't really stand alone. The reason for this is simple. You see, several months ago, while I was talking over the Internet with John, he explained this wacky idea he had for a Lemon parody. Now, I have an interest in good lemon stories, and I often help John out with ideas and little things like SPELLING, GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION :) Ahem. Anyway, we tossed ideas back and forth. I think I came up with the idea of introducing the characters as 'actors' and thus the entire "Biles' Command Complex" bit got written. Some ideas we threw around included a segment we jokingly called MAISON BAILESU (which is how John spells his name in his own pseudo-Japanese :). John put off writing it until he had finished the rest of Lemonade. And then he stalled. Since I had been involved in the planning, I offered to write it. I made a good start (Urd is my Lemon Muse, she's very good :) and then got blindsided by my Dark Muse with a rather horrific Ranma tale I've called LIES. (Hopefully coming soon to RAAS. Watch for it, but it ain't pretty... you have been warned.) That put me completely out of the mood for writing light-hearted lemon stories. While I dithered, John and I had a small communication glitch and he thought that I was writing a full-blown side story, while I always intended it to be integrated into LEMONADE. When a deadline for Ranma fanfic awards came up, John posted LEMONADE, hoping it would make the cut. Anyway, I forced my muse back online and finished off MAISON BAILESU and discussed with John what to do. We finally decided to post this story separately. For those of you who want to do your own cutting and pasting, John marked the spot rather clearly. Later, we'll upload a final copy of LEMONADE to the archives with this story included. Anyway, here's the story of what happened on the night between the two days of 'filming' in LEMONADE. As always, comments and criticisms are welcome. OK, I know, enough yakking... I had to do this first because I know you'd never read it if I put it at the end. :) Here's the story: ------------------------------------------------- Ikuko ran through the labyrinthine backstage corridors of Biles' Complex, looking for the cafeteria. I knew I shouldn't have tried to take a shortcut, she thought. How am I going to get these revised trailer listings to everyone in time? Turning a corner, she was startled to see a large computer. The computer was running some sort of screensaver where a giant eyeball wandered crazily around the screen. When she stepped closer to examine it, the screensaver winked out and words, written in large, capital letters, appeared on the screen. GREETINGS, CITIZEN, the screen read. HOW MAY I BE OF ASSISTANCE? "How odd," Ikuko said, stepping up to the keyboard. Maybe this thing could help her. I need directions to the studio commissary, she typed. WHAT IS YOUR SECURITY CLEARANCE, CITIZEN? Ikuko looked at the bright red security badge she had been given and typed 'Red' on a whim. I'M SORRY, THAT INFORMATION IS NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR LEVEL OF CLEARANCE. I need to get these new trailer assignments to the staff, she typed, desperate. How should I do that? TRUST THE COMPUTER! THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND! SIMPLY INSERT YOUR PAPERWORK INTO MY SCANNER AND I WILL ENSURE THE QUICK AND EFFICIENT POSTING OF THE REVISED LIST. YOU _DO_ TRUST THE COMPUTER, DON'T YOU, CITIZEN? Sure, I guess, Ikuko typed, beginning to feed Akemi's trailer assignments into the scanner. She didn't notice the Happy Fun Security Laser that promptly reduced her to a pile of ash. NOT TRUSTING THE COMPUTER IS TREASON, CITIZEN. HAVE A NICE DAY. The Computer--which Biles had picked up cheap in the Alpha Complex Liquidation Sale as a backup for the Computerniichuans (repeated dousings can lead to many technical problems)--noticed that the trailer listings were incomplete and quickly and efficiently reorganized them. Really, it did, just ask it. It also sent an order in for Ikuko's clone to be brought on line before it went back to diligently searching for Commie Mutant Traitors. Behind the Biles Studio Complex is a back lot. Normally, it is empty, save for a few weeds and a colony of escaped lab rats who are making great headway towards creating a civilization. Earlier in the day, however, dozens of living trailers were delivered for the cast and crew of Biles' story, annoying the lab rats to no end. Oh, the cast and crew were aggravated, too. The reason for this was depressingly simple. Originally, a hundred rooms and a penthouse suite were reserved for the crew at the Plaza Hotel. The Plaza is a very swank hotel, with a four-star restaurant, swimming pool, gymnasium, and fresh coffee and doughnuts delivered to your room each morning. Now, the cost for a hundred rooms and a penthouse is exceedingly high. Under these circumstances, it is understandable that the hotel manager thought that the reservation was a mistake, and cancelled all of them except for the penthouse suite. When Biles found out about the mix-up, he thought about fighting for the rooms, but it was much cheaper to rent a few prefab trailers. The accidental destruction of most of the production's mecha made budgetary concerns paramount. The Penthouse was already paid for, too. One quick executive decision later, Biles was ensconced in his penthouse, while everyone else roughed it on the backlot. Did we mention that this irritated them a great deal? Godai trudged down the sidewalk. He had thought that his day could not get any worse, but now... Kyoko was managing the staff housing. How could he keep her from hearing about what sort of story he was writing? "I'll just go back and sleep in the Command Center," he said aloud, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. "I'll just say I was working late... yes, that's the--" "Move along or be... EX-TERMINATED!" came a tinny, annoyed voice. Godai quickly made room for a Dalek who was muttering something about agents and being tipped over. He was just turning around to head back to the studio when he heard the most horribly dreadful thing he could imagine. "Godai-san! Konbanwa!" "Kyo-Kyoko!" he stammered, turning around. She was smiling, standing in front of the entrance to the backlot, handing out trailer keys to everyone. His throat constricted, as it always did. She looked so beautiful in her PIYO-PIYO apron. "How was your first day, Godai-san?" she inquired, trying to figure out exactly how to hand the Dalek his key. The Daleks are superbly suited for the extermination of all other lifeforms in the galaxy, but the lack of hands and their inability to handle a slope steeper than 30 degrees hinders them at times. That is why they usually delay their invasions until a world invents elevators and handicapped-access doors. "F-Fine, Kanrinin-san," Godai stammered, resorting to old habits and calling her manager, like he did at Ikokku-kan. He was safe, as long as no one told her about the story... "Don't listen to Godai-kun," interrupted Mr. Yotsuya, clad in his impenetrable trenchcoat. "It is obvious that the ronin is doomed to failure in his present task." "YOTSUYA-SAN!" Godai exclaimed. "Now, now..." Kyoko said, finally deciding to just loop the key over the Dalek's Ray-of-Death-and-EXTERMINATION and asking its trailer-mate, some guy wearing a black robe and carrying a scythe, to help it with the door. "I'm sure Godai-san is doing his best, ne?" "Hai, Kanrinin-san." "Well, welcome to Bailesu-kan, Godai-san. You're in trailer 5a... I think..." she said, handing him a piece of paper. Godai looked at it. It had apparently been printed by a bad dot matrix printer and said: GREETINGS, CITIZEN GodaiYu-U-SKU-1 YOUR FRIEND, THE COMPUTER, HAS CHOSEN THE VERY BEST IN AVAILABLE PRE-FABRICATED TRAILERS (CONSTRUCTED ENTIRELY OUT OF HIGH-TECH TIN FOIL AND PRE-MASTICATED SUCROSE STICKS) FOR YOUR RESIDENTIAL NEEDS! YOU WILL BE LIVING IN TRAILER 5a WITH YOUR TRAILERMATE(S): OtonashiKy-O-KO-1, Yots-U-YA-1, Ich-I-NSE-1. ENJOY YOUR STAY AND REMEMBER: THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND! STAY ALERT! TRUST NO ONE! KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY! "What is this?" "I don't know, Godai-san... I got a list of last minute room arrangements from Biles-sama and they were all like this. I can't even read most of these names, they're so horribly mangled." "Are we... we..." Godai stammered, having figured out the names of his trailermates. Kyoko and Mr. Yotsuya looked at the form. Kyoko immediately blushed bright red. Mr. Yotsuya looked very pleased with himself. "Ah, we will be bunking together, ronin-san. How fortuitous is fate." "Yotsuya-san! Please, there must be some mistake," Kyoko stammered. "Excuse me?" said a strange voice. The three of them looked up to see a LARGE crowd of people. The speaker, apparently an alien of some sort, said politely, "Excuse me, Kanrinin-san... is it possible for some of us to swap trailer assignments?" Much later, Ranma (or Citizen Saotome-R-NMA-1, as the Computer had labeled him) finally collapsed in his trailer. His first room assignment had been with a Triffid, a facehugger pod (ick!) and a Kzinti warrior. The first two, while disgusting, weren't too bad, but the last, a man-sized, humanoid CAT... He shuddered. A bewildering array of trailer swaps and trades was underway outside. Everyone was trying to find more acceptable housing. Finally, Akane had dumped him in her trailer, threatening to mallet anyone who disputed her. Ranma sighed and was trying to relax on his small cot when a faint "mew?" startled him. It came from a small kitten poking its head out of his cat carrier. The kitten's fur was a patchy melange of orange and black, with a white splotch on its face and one white foot. It mewed again. Ranma smiled and scratched the cat behind its ears. "Hiya, Nekchan," he said. Nekchan, assuming a haughty look, narrowed its eyes to slits as it deigned to be scratched. Ranma then set out a water bowl, filling it from a thermos he kept in his bag. Nekchan had been a gift from Akane and Ukyou after Ranma completed a year of psychological treatment for his fear of cats. He could now handle one or (maybe) two cats at a time, especially cats he knew. Strange cats and large numbers of them would still send him into fits, but he was pleased with his progress. Ranma was still petting Nekchan when Akane came back in. "Whew! Everything is still a mess out there," she complained, smiling at Nekchan and Ranma. Ranma looked around, out of habit. "What about Shampoo, Kodachi and Ukyou?" Akane sat on the cot next to Ranma. Nekchan immediately leaped onto her lap, preening for attention. "I haven't seen them." She looked around as well. "I guess it's just us two..." She scooted closer to Ranma. Ranma wrapped his arms around her. "I guess so," he said, grinning. Ranma kissed her, his hands slowly beginning to unbutton her blouse-- Someone knocked at the door. Sighing, Akane went up to open it. Something like this always happened when she and Ranma tried to find some time alone together. It seemed the only times they got to make love was on camera! Opening the door, Akane was greeted by a young, very familiar-looking redhead. "Hiya, cuz!" the redhead said, giving Akane a big hug. "Ranko! Come in! Hey, Ranma! Look who's here!" Tendo Ranko, Akane's cousin and sometime stand-in for Ranma-chan (when Ranma-kun and Ranma-chan had to be filmed together) waved cheerily at Ranma. "Hiya, cuz-in-law-to-be!" she said, speaking so fast the words whipped by Ranma's ear. Ranma's friends were always amazed by Ranko's resemblance to Ranma's female form, but she wasn't an exact copy. Her hair was only shoulder-length, and not in a pig-tail (except when in costume) and she normally wore a nice dress or, like today, her sailor fuku, totally unlike Ranma's male clothes. She also wore a little light make-up, and was about six months younger than Akane and Ranma. "Um, Hi, Ranko," Ranma said. Nekchan mewed for attention, which was promptly lavished upon him. "What brings you here, cousin?" Akane asked, oblivious to any discomfort Ranma was showing. "Well, Biles-sama called me up, direct, and asked me to come here! He said he needed me for another part. And this time, I don't get stuck in a mirror!" "That's great!" Akane exclaimed. "I get to see so little of you, what with our busy schedules... let me go and get some tea down at the Cha Cha Maru and then we'll talk, 'kay?" "Sure thing, cuz! I'm sure Ranma-san and I can find something to do while you're gone." "Um, Akane..." Ranma began, a big sweat drop forming behind his head for some reason, "why don't I go get the tea and you spend some time with your cousin...?" "Have you forgotten Ukyou, Kodachi, and Shampoo, Ranma? If they see you, you'll never get back here. Ranko, make sure he doesn't go anywhere, even if you have to sit on him, OK?" "Haaaaaiiii!" said Ranko. "But, Akane..." Akane went out the door and back into the crazed mob of trailer-swappers. Ranma tried to go to the door to shout after her, but he found himself occupied with more pressing concerns. Namely, a very cute and curvaceous redhead sitting on his lap. "Now, now," Ranko purred, "Akane-chan said for you to stay here, Ranma-san." She wrapped her arms around Ranma's neck and leaned close, pressing her breasts against him. Ranma's pigtail stood straight up. "Now, what shall we do to pass the time...?" Her lips brushed his in the beginnings of a kiss. "Ranko! Stop it!" Ranko looked deeply into Ranma's eyes, shifting her legs around so that she straddled his lap. "I don't think you really want that, Ranma..." she purred, leaning down to nibble on his earlobe. He jerked away. "Come on! I'm engaged to your cousin! You're engaged to Kunou! It's not mmsdsdjflsjkd--" Ranma's arguments were stopped cold by Ranko's kiss. He struggled to break it off, but she was relentless, pressing him back against the trailer wall beside his cot. Dimly, he became aware that his warrior of love was awakening, twitching inside his pants. For the record, it must be stated that fidelity for Ranma and Akane is a somewhat different notion than for the majority of sentient beings on planet Earth. Given the amount of mind controlling food, temptations, and petty jealousy they encounter, it is nearly impossible for them to remain monogamous. Hence, they long ago decided to adopt a policy of total honesty with each other about any sexual relations they might have with other people. This usually works pretty well because they truly love each other and know that their feelings will not change. So, while Ranma knows of Akane's flirting with Biles (though she told him it has not gone beyond kissing and some groping. Biles seems to be easily distracted by little things like purple-haired Amazons tossing him into walls) he is not planning to reduce Biles into a red paste. Fantasizing about it, yes, but not planning to do it seriously. Really. Ranko, however, is another problem. Ranma knows that Akane would have several reasons for objecting that this is far different from his infrequent liaisons with Nabiki, Ukyou, Kodachi or Shampoo, or her flings with Ryouga (before he met Akari), Shinnosuke, or Toma. First of all, Ranko is engaged to Kunou. Second, she's family. Finally, Akane labored under the delusion that Ranko was a sweet, innocent little girl (instead of an aggressive young nymphomaniac) who would never initiate anything, hence Ranma would HAVE to be the instigator of the whole mess. And deserve a thorough malleting. Not that that was a bad thing, as Akane usually felt sorry afterwards and made it up to him, apologizing and kissing him where it hurt... and some places it didn't. But the actually malleting, the feel of wood and iron (or was it adamantium?) crushing his flesh... Images of descending mallets distracted Ranma while Ranko broke the kiss and began to unbutton her blouse. "Oh, Ranma-san," she breathed, "I want you so bad... you don't know what it's like with Kunou... his idea of foreplay is poetry reading and tea ceremonies!" She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Though the actual sex is niiiiiice," she giggled. Stripping off her blouse, she brought Ranma's hands up to her firm breasts, letting him feel how round and perfect they were. "I want a night with a real man... one who will come more than three times..." THREE times?! thought Ranma, panicking. Kunou must have the stamina of a horse! "But Akane is--" he began, even while his hands unconsciously squeezed her fleshy globes. Ranko moaned a little at his touch. "She won't be back for a while," she said, her hands now dropping down to open Ranma's pants. "We have enough time for a quickie now..." 'Now' implied more, later. Ranma surged to his feet, the idea providing the impetus he needed to dump Ranko on her bottom. Driven to desperate measures, he grabbed Nekchan's water bowl. Nekchan protested loudly and scooted under a cot. One splash later and two buxom redheads, one wet and clothed, the other half-naked (and not exactly dry.) "Well, we can't do anything now, Ranko," Ranma-chan said, triumphantly. "Not until Akane comes back with some hot water at least." Then Ranma-chan noticed the look in Ranko's eyes and her pigtail stiffened in warning. Outside the trailer, as if in omen, a robot could be heard chanting, "Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!" "Well, if that's the way you want it, Ranma-san..." purred Ranko. "I've always wanted to make love to myself..." "Eep!" Godai pulled his blanket around himself in rapture. He was sharing a trailer with Kyoko! Okay, Yotsuya and Ichinose-san were sharing it as well, and no one else was in the trailer at the moment, but it was something, wasn't it? It had quickly become apparent that almost everyone wanted to exchange trailermates. Even some of the facehuggers were upset! (Then again, living with Mikado was probably too terrible to imagine.) So Kyoko had given up on the idea of changing her trailer and settled for asking Godai to hang a sheet between the men's area and the women's. Yotsuya had shortly thereafter disappeared into the Cha Cha Maru. It seemed some of the crew was celebrating their survival of the first day of filming. Godai had seen Akemi (Rippongi) heading there as well, with that other Akemi (Doi, the one with green hair) and a redhead who looked like Akane. As far as Godai could tell, from the explanation Akemi had shouted at him over the din of the crowd, the redhead was also named Akemi, Akemi Amano, and was rooming with them. (Actually, it was not THE Cha Cha Maru that Godai knew, but a movie set facsimile the crew had erected on Akemi's suggestion. Still, Master had been kind enough to run it, the kitchen worked, and there was plenty of sake and other drinks... what more did one need?) At least Kyoko doesn't know about the film, Godai thought, brow furrowing in concern. A new sense of resolve filled him. Tomorrow, he would stand up to Biles! He would rewrite this story into something clean and decent! He would make Kyoko proud of him! The trailer door opened then, quietly, as if the newcomer did not want to bother anyone inside. Godai heard footsteps as that someone walked around on the other side of the sheet. It must be Kyoko, he said, lying very still and pretending to be asleep. Yotsuya or obasan wouldn't be that quiet. Looking at the sheet, he could now make out the silhouette of the person behind the screen. She was definitely female, shapely and with long, flowing hair. Godai's heart pounded with unrequited love. Oh, Kyoko, he thought. Then, the woman began to disrobe. He watched in disbelief as she unbuttoned her blouse and dropped it to the floor, her actions easily recognizable. She turned and presented a luscious profile. Lust drove Godai's heart into overdrive as her perfectly shaped breasts were outlined by the light. K-Kyoko is undressing not five feet away, he thought to himself, shaking slightly. He hugged himself, trying to get his rebellious body under control. Stop thinking like that, he berated himself. Your love for Kyoko is pure, not like this! While Godai waged his inner war, the figure crouched slightly so she could slide her pants down her well-formed legs, then stretched, nearly driving Godai's heart into cardiac arrest. Then she started moving toward the sheet. Godai froze. I must have made a noise, she heard me, is she going to scream orcomeinherenaked!? his thoughts babbled. He squeezed his eyes shut. He heard the rustle of the sheet being pushed aside, and the quiet pad of footsteps approaching. Then someone lifted the edge of his blanket. His feet felt cold as the blanket was lifted, then a pair of soft, warm hands slid over them. Godai risked a peek, but his new bedmate had the blanket over her head as she crawled onto his small futon. He could see nothing but her naked back and bottom, which was raised high in the air as she bent down to... He felt a pair of lips pressed against his feet. She was kissing them! Oh, Kyoko's so bold, he thought, deliriously. Her hands slid up his legs, moving gently over the fabric of his pajamas. Her touch excited him tremendously, causing his manhood to throb and grow, pressing against the fabric. At first she skirted that area, then gave his throbbing member a squeeze that almost made him come right there, but he controlled this impulse. I have to show her I'm a man, he muttered to himself. She slid her body onto the futon, following the progress of her hands. As she opened his pajama top to caress his chest, her lips were kissing his thighs and her breasts were pressed against his legs, two perfect fleshy globes, firm yet yielding to any pressure. His head swam as they glided up his body, as her mouth kissed his belly, as her hands slid over his face... Unable to stay still any longer, he grabbed her shoulders, his fingers digging into her soft skin. She made no sound of protest as he pulled her even with himand rolled over on top of her, heedless of where the blanket went. He would finally show Kyoko what kind of man he was! That he could take charge and show her pleasures she had not dreamed of! That he was better than Mitaka or... or even Souichiro! With her soft, warm body beneath him, her breasts mashed against his bared chest, and his manhood throbbing against her thigh through his nightclothes, Godai leaned close to kiss her, opening his eyes... ...to be greeted by a flushed face topped by a glorious mane of purple hair, a face attached to a spectacular Amazonian body, a face whose perfect red lips opened to purr, "Nihao." Akane finally forced her way through the mob to the Cha Cha Maru. Gah, it's almost like the crowd's multiplied since I went inside the trailer! she thought. The inside of the Cha Cha Maru was almost as packed as outside. When they had built it, the stagehands had added a dance hall, raiding old props from the disco films of the Seventies to provide a mirror ball and one of those floors that light up. It was tacky, garish and tasteless, but the crowd didn't seem to mind. Over in the corner, Genma-panda was acting as DJ, holding up signs to announce the songs that blared out of the overworked speakers. Right now NIN's "Head Like a Hole" was blaring and everyone was dancing to it desperately, or shoving at people. Someone shoved her from behind and she spun around angrily. "Oops! Sorry, Akane!" Kasumi shouted above the music. She was wearing a short, tight black dress that left her arms and shoulders bare, well-suited for the hot dance floor. She smiled apologetically, then wandered back into the throng, headbanging to the refrain. Akane just shook her head and made her way to the (somewhat) quieter bar section, where she asked Master to fill her thermos with some tea. He nodded and took the thermos. "Ah, Tendo Akane! Welcome! Please, sit with us," came a shout. Kunou was sitting with Mousse in a corner. From the number of sake bottles in front of them, the two had been drinking for some time. "Hello, Kunou-san," she said politely. The music had gone on to something a little quieter, perhaps by Alanis Morissette, but being able to hear the lyrics more clearly didn't help Akane's composure. She looked around the bar. It was off to one side, in a little alcove, so as to be removed from the noise and crowd of the dance hall. Several extras and stage hands were drinking, as well as some of the aliens. In a corner, some woman with long white hair and dusky skin was sitting on the lap of a bearded man whose hat was slouched low over his eyes. One of the Street Fighters, the military man with the blond crew-cut, was drinking alone at a table. Four robots were in a booth interconnecting their wiring and making low beeping noises. Behind the bar, Master was kept quite busy with drink orders. It looked like he wasn't going to get to her order anytime soon, so she took Kunou's offer. "So, how was your day, Kunou-san?" "It was most edifying. While at first I was sorely troubled by Biles's new narrative direction, I have come to the conclusion that it is truly inspired." "Because of your fight scene?" "Yes. At last, my true martial prowess is recognized." "That's just because Godai couldn't write a love scene for you," Mousse said, his diction perfect despite the alcohol. "That will be remedied in the end credits. I understand the villain will separate Ranma into his two halves and I will get to consummate my affection for the 'pig-tailed girl.' Fortunately," he added with a wink, "Ranko is my fiancee as well... I hope the fair flower will not be too embarrassed by having so many witnesses to our conjugal act." Akane frowned. "It -is- a lot to ask of her... she's back at my trailer now... I just came to get some tea. It's taking me longer than I thought to get back to her and Ranma." A shout cut across the relative quiet of the bar. "Yo! Mashtr!" Akemi Rippongi shouted, staggering off the dance floor with Akemi Doi and Akemi Amano. Rippongi was obviously drunk, and her clothes, a short black skirt and a man's dress shirt, mostly unbuttoned, was hardly decent. Doi (the one with green hair) was little better, with a turquoise skirt and halter top. In contrast, Amano was dressed nicely in a simple white dress. All of them were flushed and sweaty from the dance floor. "Shome more sake, Mashter," Rippongi continued, before turning and winking at the Street Fighter. Doi, not to be outdone, was already whispering in some stagehand's ear, making the poor boy's ears turn bright red. Amano blushed and, when Akane made eye contact with her, rushed over, looking relieved. "Konbanwa, sempais," she said politely. She was a less experienced actor than them, having been picked up during "Putting Your Heart in the Right Place" for a bit part that had blossomed into a recurring role. She did look uncannily like Akane, except for her hair, and was very nice. The more veteran actors had taken her under their wing. "Akemi-chan, how are you doing?" Mousse inquired. "I have not seen you since the last Furinkan Summer story." "Fine, sempai," she said with a blush. "My roommates decided we would all go out tonight. Biles-sama wants me in the closing credits scene, so I didn't get on screen today." "Biles-sama is really packing a lot of people into the closing credits," Akane commented. "I hope it works out okay." The song playing in the dance hall broke off suddenly. Akane saw that her father, wielding a speaker in each hand, was chasing Genma-panda around. Fortunately, Gosunkugi took over the DJ station, and put on Pink Floyd's "Money," dedicating it to his date, Nabiki. Akane couldn't see her sister, however, because of the crowd of teenagers who started wailing and trying to mob the DJ booth to get at their heartthrob. Hinako-sensei drained them before they could wreck the equipment. "This place is a madhouse," Akemi commented. "Hai, but it's the only place to get food and drink, unless we order take out from the Shanghai Restaurant," Akane commented. "I am surprised so many people are here," Mousse said. "I would have thought the effects of the H-Rays would keep most of them busy." "What? I thought that was just part of the story," Akane said. Mousse began to explain about Biles's emphasis on realism when Akemi Rippongi staggered over. "Hey, Akemi!" she bawled, wrapping one arm around Amano's shoulders. "How come you're not picking up a guy? Great pair like these," she continued, catching both of Akemi's breasts drunkenly and squeezing, "and you're with these fuddy-duddies?" Akemi blushed bright red and was trying to stutter some reply when a hand clapped down on Rippongi's shoulder. "I think you should not bother her," Ryouga said evenly. Behind him, his girlfriend Akari was looking grimly at Rippongi. Rippongi started to make some reply when the big Street Fighter she had been flirting with earlier loomed over Ryouga. "Are you bothering the lady?" he asked menacingly, indicating Rippongi with his eyes. Ryouga merely smiled slightly and said, "No, just telling her politely that her company isn't wanted." Rippongi fluttered her eyelids at the Street Fighter, who growled at Ryouga. "I think you need a lesson in manners, punk." "Excuse me, you're Guile, of the Street Fighter contingent, ne?" Ryouga asked. "Right." "It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Hibiki Ryouga, and I would not stoop so low as to fight you outside of your element." With that, Ryouga struck swiftly, buffeting Guile about the head a hundred times in a second. Then, picking the burly man up with one hand, he tossed him out the bar doors into the street. Guile landed head first in an alley across the way, and was immediately challenged to combat by a seven-foot tall blue giant who kept yelling, "Spoon!" "That was incredible, Ryouga-sempai," Akemi-gushed. Rippongi made herself scarce, going over to steal one of the stagehands Doi was getting cozy with. "Just a little trick Ranma taught me," Ryouga said modestly. Akari handed Akane her thermos. "Master already filled it, Akane. He said it's with his compliments and he's sorry it took so long." "Thanks, Akari. Would you and Ryouga like to walk back with me? Ranko, Ranma, and I were going to spend some time talking tonight." "Of course," Ryouga said, smiling. Akari nodded behind him, looking a little tense. "Can I come along, Akane-sempai?" Akemi asked. "I don't feel safe out there on my own." "I will be happy to escort you, ladies," Ryouga declared. "Thanks, Ryouga-kun," Akane said with a smile. "We'd better get going. I hope Ranko and Ranma aren't getting bored waiting." Ranma-chan was trapped against the wall of her trailer, trying, without much success, to calm Ranko down. "Ranko, we can't! We're both girls!" she protested. Ranko wrapped her arms around Ranma's neck. Sliding her naked breasts against Ranma's shirt, she smiled when Ranma swallowed nervously. Ranma's head was spinning. It -did- feel good. That strange tingle was beginning again in her breasts. She felt like something should be throbbing by now. "Aren't you always saying you're still a man, Ranma-chan?" Ranko purred, nibbling Ranma's earlobe again. One of her hands deftly began to unfasten Ranma's shirt ties. "You know you want me... and I know you've always wanted to do this with Akane... as a girl. You're curious, aren't you?" Ranma froze, letting Ranko do what she wanted. That was something she had never told anyone, especially not Akane! Ranko continued, stripping Ranma's shirt off of her and then let her breasts rub slowly against Ranma. "I know you are... and you know what? Akane's told me she's curious too... she thinks you're very cute as a girl..." Ranma could barely concentrate now. She squeezed her legs together, vaguely aware of some warm itch between them. Her mind swam with images of Akane naked, of the love scene they had just had. Ranko stopped talking now, well aware that Ranma was beyond conscious thought. When his willpower failed, he was like putty in anyone's hands. Smiling, she lowered her head to one of Ranma lovely breasts. The light pink nipples were already stiff with desire. She wrapped her mouth around one and ran her tongue over it, eliciting a gasp from Ranma. Ranko had never felt so aroused. One of her hands dropped down under her skirt. Her sex was hot and moist, as she knew it would be. She began to rub it frantically. Then a hand closed around her wrist. It was Ranma. Ranko let out a small groan of disappointment as she was thwarted in her quest for self-gratification. Then Ranma whispered, "Please... let me?" Ranko let out a small sigh, one quickly replaced by a moan as Ranma's deft fingers replaced hers. She let Ranma's n****e fall out of her mouth and moved upward to kiss Ranma on the lips, their tongues writhing against each other even as their bodies began to do the same. "S-shampoo? What are you doing here?" Godai demanded nervously, his manhood wilting. This was not what he had expected. Shampoo winked and kissed the base of his throat. "I thought you might be lonely," she purred, "and I wanted to keep you company." Godai was very conscious of her soft, naked body beneath him and struggled to break out of her arms. "Do you always sneak into someone's bed when they might be lonely?" he asked, trying to regain his equilibrium. "Ancient Amazon custom," Shampoo giggled, her arms holding him against her even more tightly than before. "I also thought we might discuss the scenes you're going to write tomorrow." Oh, so -that- is what this is about, Godai thought as he struggled vainly. Shampoo was much stronger than he, however. All his efforts merely made him more aware of Shampoo's lush form. "Biles promised me a love scene with Ranma," Shampoo continued, smiling as Godai tried to escape. "but the b*****d isn't going to do it. I want you to work a scene in." "Why should I do that?" "Because," she said, her voice becoming huskier, "I'm going to be very... nice to you. Very, very nice. My village has -other- competitions besides martial arts, you know. I was number one in them as well." The last came out in a sort of throaty purr that sent a surge through Godai's manhood. Kyoko, give me strength, he prayed silently. Please, someone, help me out of this mess! Anyone! Suddenly, the curtain dividing the room was ripped away and a brilliant klieg light was trained on them. Two figures, one tall and thin, the other short and dumpy, scuttled behind the light. "Yes, Ronin! Put your heart into it!" shouted Yotsuya through a megaphone. He was sitting in a director's chair and held a camcorder in his hand. Beside him, Ichinose-san kept the light trained on Godai and Shampoo. "Y-Yotsuya!" "This is just great," growled Shampoo, letting go of Godai. "Cut!" said Yotsuya. "Ronin, you must try harder to get into character." "Yotsuya-san! Get out of here!" "Now, once again from the top!" shouted Yotsuya. "Lights!" Ichinose, trying not to laugh, brought the light closer to the pair. "Camera!" The red light on the camcorder blinked into life. "Act--" The light blinked off again as Shampoo grabbed the camera and slammed it against Yotsuya's face. "I don't work for amateurs," Shampoo growled, letting Yotsuya drop to the floor. "And that's... a wrap," Yotsuya muttered as he collapsed. Ichinose turned off the light, realizing that teasing Godai was one thing, but teasing an enraged Amazon was another thing all- together. Godai put his head in his hands. His cushy job had turned into a nightmare of pornography. His restful night's sleep had become an amateur film session, complete with one naked Amazon. Things could simply not get worse. "What's all the noise--?" Kyoko began to ask as she entered the trailer. Godai froze. His life passed before his eyes, followed by the lives of his parents, grandparents, and so on down the entire Godai family line. He could see the faces of all his ancestors floating before him, and they imparted one small bit of advice, the accumulated wisdom of his family's experiences. "It can ALWAYS get worse." Ryouga, Akari, Amano Akemi, and Akane walked through the thinning crowd. Akane and Akemi were walking in front, discussing the upcoming Furinkan Summer plots, while Ryouga and Akari followed behind. Akari seemed down, for some reason. "What is it, Akari-chan?" Ryouga asked. Akari opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and looked down at her feet. "It's nothing, Ryouga-kun," she muttered. "Come on, we've been together too long for that. What's the matter?" Akari sighed. "It's Akane." "What? I've told you, it's all over between us--" "No, it's not, Ryouga-kun... I know you were looking forward to a love scene with her." Ryouga froze. "How--?" "Like you said, we've been together too long. You still love her, don't you?" Ryouga was silent. He had been dating Akane for a while, off-camera, back in the early days of their careers. But, over time, they had drifted apart, and her love for Ranma grew. He had denied it, and it had put a strain on his friendship with Ranma until they were almost as bad as they were on-screen. Then, Akane had left him, leaving a tear-stained note that he kept, even now. He had managed to put his life back together, and he had Akari-chan, a beautiful young girl who loved him totally, but still... "I don't know, Akari-chan... I think I may always love her... but Akane and I aren't meant to be together." He wrapped his arms around her. "I -do- love you, despite any might-have-beens. Perhaps it's just as well I didn't have the scene with Akane... it would have dredged up old memories best left alone." "So, you don't have any regrets?" "None... except that I wish we had met earlier. We might be married by now." "Ryouga...?" Ryouga looked extremely embarrassed. "I was saving this for the right moment, Akari-chan... but now is as good as ever, I guess." He produced a small ring-case from his pocket. "Will you..." "YES!!!" Akari yelled, wrapping her arms around him in a big hug, bowling him over. "Way to go, sempai!" cheered Akemi. She and Akane had noticed the conversation behind them and had been watched quietly. "Congratulations, Ryouga-kun!" beamed Akane, as she helped the two lovebirds up. Akari and Ryouga blushed mightily, but their eyes were only for each other. With as much dignity as he could muster, under the circumstances, Ryouga opened the ring case and took out the gold ring inside it. It had a small pig engraved on it, with little diamonds for eyes. Akari's eyes opened wide and she squealed when she saw it. "Oh, Ryouga-kun! It's -perfect!-" And then she wrapped her arms around him for another hug, kissing him this time. Akane and Akemi watched in amusement as the kiss went on and on. Finally, Akane turned to Akemi. "I think they're going to be a little busy now. We're almost home, anyway. I'll see you tomorrow, OK?" "Right, sempai!" Akemi went off to her trailer, now in sight. Akane looked at Ryouga and Akari again, noting the remarkable lack of interruptions they were enjoying. Why can't Ranma and I ever get any time alone? Akane thought as she trudged to her trailer. It's so unfair... She was so caught up in her thoughts she almost missed the small moan coming from inside her trailer as she pulled out her key. But she did hear it and, curious, she took a peak in one of the windows. "Kyoko!!" Godai exclaimed, once his paralysis and ancestral visitation was over. Kyoko was suffering a bit of paralysis herself as she took in the scene. Then her finely tuned managerial skills kicked in. "Miss Shampoo," she said, icily, "I think you have the wrong trailer, do you not? And Yotsuya-san, Ichinose-san, what are you doing with all that camera equipment? Are you hurt badly, Yotsuya-san?" Shampoo sighed. It seemed she would get nowhere with Godai tonight. Ah, well... "I was just leaving," she said, going for the door, completely unmindful of her nakedness. Before she left, she turned to Godai and winked. "Sorry, Godai-kun... guess you'll never know what you missed." Then she was gone. "K-kyoko, I can--" Kyoko ignored Godai utterly, bending over the moaning figure of Yotsuya. Already a bright purple bruise was blooming on his cheek. "Ichinose-san, you had best get Yotsuya-san to the Ogenki Clinic. They may be able to help with this." "Why should I have to--" Ichinose trailed off as Kyoko fixed her with another icy glare. Hoisting Yotsuya over her shoulder with surprising ease, Ichinose left, grumbling to herself. "Kyoko, it's not... she snuck in here! I didn't..." "I know, Godai," Kyoko said quietly, her voice sounding more normal. "So you see, I'm innocent--you know?" "Shampoo tries this with most directors and scriptwriters... it's no secret. Since Biles-sama is usually immune to that tactic, she saved it for you." Godai was astonished. Not at the information about Shampoo, but rather at how calmly Kyoko was taking everything. Was it possible that she cared for him and would understand his feelings for her? He must tell her the whole truth, now. "Kyoko, I... I need to tell you about this movie... it's--" "I know about that too, Godai." "Y-you do?" "Everyone's talking about it. Something is wrong with Biles-sama, but I know you'll do your best to make it right." "Hai! I will, I promise! Somehow, I'll make it right, Kyoko." And then, the astonishing thing happened. Kyoko kissed Godai on the cheek. For Godai, angels sang praises, the holy grail was found, Kal-Torak was slain, the One Ring was cast into the Cracks of Doom, the Dark One was imprisoned beneath Shayol Ghul... all of this at once, amplified a million times. Kyoko approved of him! She had kissed him! Then he fainted dead away. Shampoo stalked away into the night, pausing only to pound anyone or thing that stared too long at her. All that work and build up, ruined so easily. "Would you like a robe, Shampoo, my dear?" said a voice out of the darkness. Turning, Shampoo saw Mousse, holding out a pink silk robe he had produced out of nowhere. She shivered slightly, feeling a faint thrill, as she recalled the other things he could produce. Then she stamped on that emotion. "I take it your attempt to seduce our scriptwriter didn't work out?" "No... we were interrupted just as I was getting started." Mousse chuckled. Shampoo turned on him in a rage. How dare he make fun of her like that! She swung at him. Mousse caught her wrist effortlessly. "I could help you with your problem, you know." Shampoo froze. Mousse's voice had dropped an octave and was filled with a subtle menace she had heard only a few time before. The voice promised pleasure and delights mixed with subtle cruelties and degradations... things a part of her yearned for. "No thank you, Mousse! I don't think that will be necessary." "Why do you keep struggling against me, Shampoo?" Mousse stepped closer to her, seeming to grow in the shadows. His glasses gleamed even as his face was swallowed in darkness. Shampoo tried to step back, but there was a trailer behind her. "You think Ranma is the one you want, because he is strong physically but can be controlled so easily. But we both know that's not what you -really- want." "And what would you know about that?" Shampoo shot back, trying to ignore the anticipation shooting though her body. She was not weak! she shouted to herself. She didn't want this! "I know that you fight merely to encourage someone to fight you harder. That you run to encourage the chase. And that you want the chase to end with you vanquished and bound, utterly helpless against your new master..." "N-no... I--" She was cut off as Mousse pressed her against the wall of the trailer and kissed her. She struggled against him, but he seemed so strong. He batted away her flailing arms and legs and bore down on her. Shampoo felt weak beneath his assault and knew that once again, he had defeated her. Now he would take her away, to his special room, where the chains and whips and leather restraints and handcuffs were, to pleasure her until she cried and begged for mercy, to punish her until she orgasmed, mixing the two until she collapsed, cursing him... and her nature. "You'll always be mine," he whispered to her, "bound forever." And she knew he was right. Akane gasped at what she saw. Two red-haired girls, obviously Ranma and Ranko, though she couldn't tell them apart at first, were lying naked on a cot, their heads buried between each other's legs. Their faces and thighs were shiny and slick with love juices and even as she watched, the one with the pig-tail (who must be Ranma) was shaking and moaning in an obvious orgasm. How DARE he?! she thought to herself, outraged, even as she couldn't take her eyes off the sight before her. Seducing my little cousin like that! But Akane felt tingles of something different beneath her anger. Ever since she had admitted--to herself, anyway--her love for Ranma, she had wondered about his female side. Such thoughts had made her feel both ashamed and aroused, and she tried not to dwell on them. But now, faced with this, the thoughts fought through her anger. "Oh, Ranma! Yes! Stick your hot tongue inside my c**t!" squealed Ranko, inside the trailer, and Akane felt another shock. Her cousin, talking like that? Where was her innocence, her shy, reserved nature? Suddenly, like one of those three-d pictures that you stare at for hours until the hidden image suddenly resolves before your eyes, Akane saw the truth. She saw Ranko's little flirtations, the nervousness Ranma always showed whenever he and Ranko did one of those publicity shoots, and how Ranko and he would disappear for a time during them. How Ranma always tensed when Ranko's name was mentioned. Her cousin was, and always had been, a slut. Somehow, the shock was not too great. It was like she had known it all along, but denied it. Now that there was no chance of denial, the fact was easily accepted. And she would deal with it. Once Ranma had given up all hope of avoiding or defusing the situation, she had acquiesced to it almost willingly. She knew that there would be a price to pay, but her arousal, curiosity, and hormones made it easy to put that thought aside for now. Ranko had been an eager and enthusiastic teacher, showing her what pleasures could be brought forth from the female body. She had played her tongue across Ranma's nipples until Ranma had orgasmed from that alone, showing how sensitive they were, and how much more sensitive they could become. Ranko's hands had slid across Ranma's skin, scratching, caressing, stroking until the tingles Ranma had always felt blossomed into flames. And finally, she had introduced Ranma's mouth to her sex, showing her how to explore its wonders with her tongue. Ranma had been an apt student. And yet, Ranma felt that something was missing. As good as Ranko was, as pleasurable as the experience had become, it was not complete. Ranma's thoughts kept turning to Akane, not the writhing nymphomaniac beneath her, and thought of rubbing their breasts together, of tasting her juices... that thought triggered another orgasm right there. Just as the door slammed open. "Cousin..." growled Akane, hammer at ready. That strange blue aura of utter, focused rage was blindingly bright around her form. Ranma, still in the throes of orgasm, felt a detached panic. Ranko's feeling were a bit more immediate. "Cuz! I... that is..." "Get your clothes and get out! I'll talk to you later, 'Cuz.'" Akane said, waving her hammer. Ranko nodded and quickly, without argument, gathered up her clothes and slipped them on. With an apologetic, "Bye, Ranma" she darted outside. By now, Ranma was more conscious of her predicament and panic was reaching full-blown proportions. "Akane! Listen... I can explain!" "She seduced you, didn't she?" Akane said flatly. "Well... yes, she--" "And you turned yourself into a girl to stop her." "Yes... but..." "It didn't work?" Ranma turned away from Akane. "I didn't want to do it, but she... she made me feel good, even though I was a girl. She... touched me in ways that I didn't imagine possible. And yet..." "And yet?" Akane asked quietly, moving a bit behind Ranma. There was a faint rustle, but Ranma didn't want to turn around and look, fearing a mallet in the face. Ranma winced. When Akane was quiet, that meant her blow up would be huge! She was going to be in the hands of the Ogenki Clinic for hours. Still, she continued. "It wasn't right... I kept thinking of you, even though it was wrong and I was a girl. Despite everything Ranko did, I wondered how you would be..." "You wanted me... as a girl?" "Hai," mumbled Ranma, blushing. Then he felt a pair of bare breasts touch her back. Looking over her shoulder in shock, Ranma discovered Akane had stripped off her clothes and was now right next to her. Their eyes met, and Ranma saw so much love and passion there that she couldn't help but respond to it. She twisted around and took Akane's naked body into her arms and kissed her, gently. "Teach me," Akane said, when their kiss broke, "what she taught you. I want to love you in all ways, Ranma-chan..." "Akane..." They were late for casting call the next day. The astonishing thing was, there had been no interruptions. ------------------------------------------------ If you want to see other stories I've written, they're available at ftp.std.com in the archives/anime-fan-works/ directory: BGC: ANGEL OF DARKNESS My first fanfic, set in the world of Bubblegum Crisis. Priss is my BGC Muse, but I don't see why she made me do all of THAT to her. :) BGC: ANGEL OF LIGHT The sequel to AOD, currently unfinished. Priss seems to have wandered off and is neglecting her Muse duties. RANMA1/2: GIRLS' NIGHT OUT A short character piece focusing on Akane and Ukyou. Some have called it 'too serious for Takahashi' :P but others have told me that I did a good job exploring their characters. RANMA1/2 ELSEWORLDS: AKANE1/2 This one I'm not really happy with, and may rewrite someday. My one and only excursion into script-style writing, and part of John Biles' (I told you he was a friend :) ELSEWORLDS series. BTW, some people have said in their story lists that the story was by John 'with' me... Nope, I wrote it, and all John did was the opening and closing bits. So lay all the blame for it on my shoulders. Future projects: What, I'm supposed to have these? :) OK, yes, there are a few ideas on the back burner, besides the aforementioned LIES and ANGEL OF LIGHT. John Biles is letting me write the next chapter in his Ranma-Urusei Yatsura crossover series, where we deal with the consequences of Nabiki and Mendou dating. Yikes! :) I have some other ideas for Ranma1/2 and BGC I want to explore, and some ideas for Tenchi Muyou and Oh! My Goddess (perhaps even a crossover between the two... Urd and Ryouko, Skuld and Washuu... double yikes!) I'm sort of a contributing plotter/writer for Philip Moyer's SERENDIPITY series, and also toss some ideas around with other fanfic writers... sheesh, no wonder I can't get any of my own stories done. :) If you want to get on my pre-reading list, just throw me a note and I'll slap you on it. Oh, and in case you really liked our 'actors' in LEMONADE and this side story, there are some plans to use tham again. So you might see them in a less hentai setting somewhere, some time. :) Jya ne! Jeffrey Hosmer aka Rogue1 -- Jeffrey Paul Hosmer 4001 Old Quarry Terrace Alexandria, VA 22306





 
 
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