Well, let's see.. lately I've been somewhat depressed.
Surprisingly it's not Neal. ( If you've read my last journal entry you might think that I miss him. ) It's mostly because of the enviorment that he & I were in.
His family brought me comfort, and so did his house. It was so warm, welcoming, bright & alive! =D
Then I return to this hellhole and my body misses something.
What is it?
I've been asking myself that, and the only thing that I could think of was because I missed him. But, I'd only feel really depressed when I got home and later in the night I'd be happy again.
Why's that?
Because I want what he has. A family. You know? People who are there for you, live near you and/or with you.
I only have my grandma, mom & stepfather left.. they're everything to me.
But lately my grandma's been forgetting.. alot.. I mean, today, she forgot my name. MY NAME. It's also a big deal when she forgets to TURN OFF HER CAR AND I HAVE TO REMIND HER TO DO SO. She's in her 70s & she's already had a stroke.. I don't even want to know what'll happen in the future.. ,____,
My momma & stepdad suffer from depression.. and that affects this house.
So when I walk in the house after a good day at school my feelings go, "Ss'dohjsda;dfgad;fgh!" And I get sad..
I just need to adjust to this again.. to this overwhelming depression from my house & I'll be fine and happy. =D.......................... ._.
Being an only child is.. painful.
People.. don't think of how annoying your little/older sibling is.. just know that.. one day you're going to need that comfort that someone will be there for you.. or anything..
I've got only a few people, who I cherish dearly..
Just.. know that you've got family.. no matter how little or big.. and they'll always be there for you.
-Jessica Kepp-
Surprisingly it's not Neal. ( If you've read my last journal entry you might think that I miss him. ) It's mostly because of the enviorment that he & I were in.
His family brought me comfort, and so did his house. It was so warm, welcoming, bright & alive! =D
Then I return to this hellhole and my body misses something.
What is it?
I've been asking myself that, and the only thing that I could think of was because I missed him. But, I'd only feel really depressed when I got home and later in the night I'd be happy again.
Why's that?
Because I want what he has. A family. You know? People who are there for you, live near you and/or with you.
I only have my grandma, mom & stepfather left.. they're everything to me.
But lately my grandma's been forgetting.. alot.. I mean, today, she forgot my name. MY NAME. It's also a big deal when she forgets to TURN OFF HER CAR AND I HAVE TO REMIND HER TO DO SO. She's in her 70s & she's already had a stroke.. I don't even want to know what'll happen in the future.. ,____,
My momma & stepdad suffer from depression.. and that affects this house.
So when I walk in the house after a good day at school my feelings go, "Ss'dohjsda;dfgad;fgh!" And I get sad..
I just need to adjust to this again.. to this overwhelming depression from my house & I'll be fine and happy. =D.......................... ._.
Being an only child is.. painful.
People.. don't think of how annoying your little/older sibling is.. just know that.. one day you're going to need that comfort that someone will be there for you.. or anything..
I've got only a few people, who I cherish dearly..
Just.. know that you've got family.. no matter how little or big.. and they'll always be there for you.
-Jessica Kepp-
