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Damn it, I'm pissed off. xD
...
But seriously. D:<
*sighs*
Why do I have to go an screw everything up? D:
Okay! I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being scared, angry, confused... and depressed!
It's happy time, so be happy!
...
...
Am I happy yet?
*curses*
Mreh, well, nothing I can do. Everytime I try I mess up. I can't even say things I want to say. I get all speechless everytime. Brain stops working, you know? Vacant. No activity. PLEASE SAVE ME!
...
Whatever happened to the bubbly me? I think I killed her again. I miss her~
So here's what I'm depating. Who is, in fact, the real me.
Bubble Me: Happy and giddy all the damned time. Really annoying. xD But... she always feels good inside. She laughs a lot too. Like... just for no reason at all. o.o And she wants to live happily ever after. She doesn't want to cry, to bleed, to be alone. But she is alone, thus, she makes due. Looks to the happy side of things. Hmm... too bad there usually isn't a happy side.
Depressing Me: More realistic. Realizes that everything and anything can turn on her. Paranoid. Basically, INSANE! She hates herself to death, and kind of just feels like giving up a lot. Slightly masochistic. Well, maybe more than just 'slightly'. She doesn't want to live happily ever after. She knows that she can't live happily ever after, because all this happy love stuff... it's all a lie.
And then there's the times when these two characters decide to fuse and send me major contradicting thoughts. Drives me crazy.
At the start, I thought the depressing one was really me. It was who I had been for so long, so all her beliefs became mine. But lately I've been wanting to push her off a building. ^^
I hate her. Thus, I hate myself.
*sighs*
I have to go now.
- Sakura Lied
 Lyccea · Mon Dec 11, 2006 @ 04:28pm · 0 Comments |
