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Just Breathe
Quote: Quickie: It's risky to involve yourself in the disagreement of two people you know. Overview: It's normal to need a break every now and then, so stop pressuring yourself and take a breather. Go on a minivacation, even if that just means watching the sunset with all your communication devices turned off.
I have never had such a hard time just doing this. Just breathing, taking a break for myself. I don't even know what that is. Even if I say I am taking a break, my life is spread out to so many others that it's not for me. Sometimes I want late mornings. I had a sort of late morning today. It was 8:30 when I got woken up, the baby was snotty and wet, my oldest was ready for breakfast and cartoons, and I didn't mind. I just went about my day, my morning like I always do. I broke down about 10:30. Just started crying. I don't know. One second I can be really strong, the next I feel like I am dying, like it's hard to breath and everything I know is over. I know I can't think like that, but it is so hard. So frustrating. I don't want to do anything till Christmas. I don't want to talk about my marriage, or the lack there of, I don't want to see the sly little gay comments they write to each other. I don't want to feel like my heart is breaking, or that my world is coming to an end. I want my boys to have a great holiday- I want to bake cookies and breads and pies, and cook a feast, and put the treats out for the birds and prepare for the new year and my new life. My life free of this one, this one I worked so hard at having.
How do you just accept something to be over, when you never wanted it to be over? How can a person expect me to be so certain, so okay with everything, when I am not?
The truth is, I will live on for my boys, I will live on for myself. I will get up and move on and take one day at a time. Life isn't over, it's just changing. Repeat-
"One door closing means another opening."
Thanks to that not so much a stranger anymore behind the counter, who looked me in the eyes and begged me to smile.
Velvet
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Community Member
I give you this, knowing that your heart aches and your wholeness is broken.
You shall be well. It shall take time, effort and emotions wrought from something that you wish that would not be. But you shall be well. We strong ladies seem to bare endless loads.
Hugs
This is all that can be sent via words on screen.
Remember, that you are amazing!
For, you are!
HUGS
I send these to you ...a great goddess, humble mother, wonderful homemaker, devoted writer, and extraordinary friend. ( And endless other hats that you wear)
May peace be with you.
.....WindWhisperer wink