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DAMN IT TO ******** HELL! >.<
...
Well... there goes another entry full of feeling that I spent oh so much time finding the correct words to desribe myself. All gone.
So now you get this thing. Me. Pissed off at the stupid internet browser for closing!
...
...
So I'm going to start all over. Maybe this time it will be better. o.o Or whatever. >.>
...
As I had previously stated in the journal entry that will never be read by anyone now... I am such a terrible person...
But I've already said all this. I don't feel like repeating myself!
So I'm going to just round it down to this:
I have bad days. Bad days equal bad consequences for my actions. On these bad days, when I am in that 'I'm not really me right now' mood... I say things I don't mean. I act like I'm backing off. But I don't want to, 'cause I was so damned happy before. Everything was just so damned wonderful. Yesh, I like to use the word damned. <.<
I have bad days. On these bad days... I hate myself. It's hard to except the wonderful things you may say when I'm constantly thinking about how I am such a terrible person.
Something to know...
I use the word love to describe some sort of feeling inside me. This word might not be good enough, but it's the best I can do. I sometimes I feel this feeling so much that it becomes a pathetic yearning that I used to fill with blood. I can't do that anymore though. So instead, I just try to sleep.
I have bad days. One these bad days... my words don't come out right. In most cases, no words come out at all. And I try my best to push it away... but it refuses to leave.
And then...
And then there's the way it effects other people. Makes me feel even worse about myself. 'Cause I'm not only ******** with my own thoughts anymore.
And as I have my own personal apocalypse... I feel things I've clinged on to... sort of just fade away slightly. They are farther away again.
...
I was so damned happy.
Life was so wonderful~
And I killed it again. Once again... I managed to completely ruin it. ^^
Damn it all.
My first take on this entry was a lot better. xD I actually bothered to feel through my words. Right now... I'm just trying to get it over with.
Okay... basically...
I screwed up again.
Thank you.
- Sakura Lied.
 Lyccea · Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 03:00am · 0 Comments |
