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My biggest fear has been realised; My ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and it hurts like he11. I want to scream and cry but I can't. I'm scared that she's gonna hurt Matt since she has a history with drugs. I don't want her to change him, and I don't know if she would try to forbid him from seeing me. I'll try to stay his friend no matter how much it hurts.

I'm officially dating my friend Stephen (RayneShadowleaf), but I'm still not happy like I was with Matt. I don't want to kiss or be with him intimately. He says he loves me but i can't say it back, and I might be falling in love with someone else but I don't know if it's real or just a crush. His name is David and he works in the same walmart i do. He makes me feel like i did when i first met Matt; I get nervous around him, I can't look at him without my face turning red and getting hot, and I can honestly say I feel happy when he talks to me. When I told Stephen about it, he wasn't happy but he said I can do what I want.

But I don't know what I want because I'm still so confused.

My grades have dropped at school, my work is cutting my hours so I won't have alot of money to pay bills, rent, and set up my apartment, and my relationships with my friends, boyfriend, and ex-boyfriend are causing me stress.

I'm just gonna have to work through it, I know, but I wish I knew what to do to make it less painful without losing anyone.