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Me and my bf broke up. When he asked me if I was mad at him I said no but it was the first time I ever lied to him because I didn't want him to know exactly how I felt. But most of our relatioship he made me feel like a piece of s**t. He would always flirt with girls right in front of me and made me feel like I was invisible, worthless, and the ugliest god damn thing on the whole f***ing planet. Everybody I know said that I could have done better but he didn't have to treat me the way he did. He probably didn't even realize he was doing it but I think right now going out with him was the biggest mistake of my life. If I knew he was going to treat me like that ahead of time I would have never even made eye contact with him. I just want everybody to know if you date him your emotions are going to be up and down the whole time and most of the time they are going to be down and your going to feel like s**t most of the time. I hope the person who knows who he is reads this so he knew how I felt like for 5 months. I hid it from everybody. Everyone though I was so happy but it was the fakest thing in the whole world. I was depressed and had basically no self- esteem for 5 months but everybody thought I was on top of the world. Just so the guy knows I'm ok now but you really tore me up inside the last 5 months and I don't think I'll ever be the same person I was before I met you. You changed who I was and I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to who I was. A.W. you hurt me the most anybody has in my entire life and I'm sorry that I never told you but I didn't want you to know how I really felt inside. And it is not just that one day you hurt me it was almost everyday we went out except for a few moments here and there. I know I need to let my emotions out in public sometimes but most of the time I do it on online journals like right now. A.W., you don't have to say sorry or anything its o.k. I'll live I mean it's not like a really have a choice but I will have to get over it. And I hope you really read this.
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