Dear Floor:
Hey! How are you? Long time no see! As a matter of fact, its been a few months. To be truthful, this letter is an apology to you. You see, I'm lazy. So very lazy. And, well, I know we decided to spend some time apart.... But I really need to see you again. I have to admit, I'm really jealous that you're already covered with papers and clothes and other strange objects of origin. Those shameless floozies are all over you! What ever happened to those hazy nights where I come home, WAY more than half drunk, and you just kind of came up to pat me on the head.... as if to say.... "You have alcohol poisoning, you psychotic whore. GO TO THE HOSPITAL." I know its crazy, but I miss the way I would wake up during the cold winter mornings and sprint to the nice carpeted bathroom rug. Not everyone is perfect.... I never minded that you were blue-a** cold during January and nearly gave my toes frostbite. I understand that I, too, have my personality flaws. Understanding that shelves are meant to put things on is vital to our relationship, and I believe I am willing to take those steps if it means not having to take one big one over the pile of junk between my bed and my door. So having said that, I was wondering if we could get together next weekend and sweep you a little? And don't worry, it doesn't even have to be that soon.... You can take all the time you need to make up your mind. Say, next summer when I have a free two weeks.
Call me!
Jenna
Ablutophobia Community Member 
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Community Member