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Since I'm incredibly confused at the moment, I decided to start a journal entry. :]
I feel like typing anyway. xD Typing ish fun~
*sips orange juice*
Mmm...
I like orange juice. xD
...
Okay, okay... I know, I know. D: I need to really write about something...
Umm... how are you today? Well? That's good. :3
My brother's sick. o: I hope I don't get sick... <.<;
xD...
See...
I just can't seem to think up anything real to type about.
...
My daddy said he was the REAL father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. o:
<.<;
It's kind of sad, isn't it? I mean... I don't really know much about it. Didn't know who she was until she passed. I'd heard her name before. o.o But that was it.
That's fifteen years of ignorance... and to only first see a picture of her after she was already gone. It's kind of weird... watching and seeing people you know aren't around anymore.
*shruggs*
It just kind of creeps me out that people come to an end like a storybook. How something or someone so real can be there... and then... just be gone.
...
Honestly, I've never lost anyone one I've loved to death as of yet, except a cat I used to cat sit...
It was sad when he died. He was only a kitten. >.< And I'd grown so attached to him. I love him so much. >.< And then he was just gone one day. Cold and unmoving...
I put my hand on his side hoping he was just sleeping. Hoping he'd wake up.
He was so cold... so stiff... so...
It was the first time I'd felt death. And it ripped my heart out.
Thus...
I screamed. I screamed so loud, so long... until my voice cracked. And I could only cry. It was terrible. >.< I pretty much cried nonstop for two or three days. At first, just the small thought, and I'd burst into tears. And even now... it still makes me cry...
And that was about a year and a half ago now. And I'm almost at the point of tears right now. >.<
...
So if losing a cat... that wasn't even my cat... makes me feel this broken...
How could I manage death of a person that I love? Or just losing someone close at all?
I don't know. xD But I'm shaking now. Dx Feel like I'm going to cry. <.<;
Spooki was a black kitty. :3 I used to have a Coco that I used to represent him! But I don't have it anymore...
Saving for a new one though. :3 I'll get there eventually. ^^
xD
Don't know why it feels so necessary to have something to use his name on. I just feel... I have to use something... to show that no matter what... I still think of him. xD Even if... you just think, "Oh, it's just a cat."
At that point in my life, he and Tuna were all I really had. xD I was just starting high school then. <.<; Thus was the beginning of nervous breakdowns and complete fear. xD But always, after a long day at that dreaded place. I got to go over and take care of the kitties for an hour. ^^
They were good for venting on. :3
Oh, darn. xD
I forgot about that time. I have to go!
School work time. <.<;
Thanks for your time. ^^
- Sakura Lied.
 Lyccea · Tue Feb 20, 2007 @ 02:04pm · 1 Comments |
