Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well, it's official. my beau and I are no longer an exclusive item. It's okay, though. I did my crying last night, and can now move on. To look at the bright side, I can now contact some old friends and actually attend school dances and do fun things like that, but I think, best of all, I have my freedom back. I hate feeling tied down. I detest feeling unappreciated too. I suppose the main person I have the pleasure of thanking would be an online flame who truly does make me feel special and appreciated. He gave me the courage and the feeling of worthiness necessary to tell my beau that we were wrong.

The bitterness, then, is in the fact that I do still love him. He's been my best friend and lover for nearly two years. Not only that, but he's taking it much harder than I, even though it was a mutual decision. This makes me feel terrible, knowing that I've caused so much pain for another, but being with him was painful for me. I suppose then that I should look out for myself first, but I've programmed myself to see other's needs first. That would be the main reason this went on for as long as it did. I suppose it wasn't the wisest way to work it, as the longer relationships go on, the more the end hurts. I pray for him and his future, that someday he might meet a girl that is perfect for him and he for her. A girl that will make him feel like the luckiest guy on the planet, and he will treat her with all the respect and love that she deserves.