The other me is the side I won’t show
The side I hid from the world
For their sake and mine.
But she comes out now and then.
She’s there when anger rises
Depression falls
And longings from inflicted hurt.
She’s sometimes a pain
Reminding me of my doubts and falls
Telling me how I don’t belong in this world.
How I am alone
With people or not
That I am not good enough to even be happy.
She causes my eyes to darken and give cold stares
The face that once showed happy and warmth
Now is to show anger and resentment
To all those who even come near me
She makes me to wish I could rid of those
Those who cause me pain.
And yet…
She’ s the only one who understands me.
Alone in my room
As I cry to myself
Thinking: haven’t I suffered enough?
She only who knows my fears
The only one that can even comfort me.
No counselor can help.
But then again…
She’s the one who causes my doubts and fear.
She can make happy and perky one moment
To wanting me wonder why I live the next
And all within a spoken word.
She can be sarcastic and rude in her way.
But makes me pay the price for it.
She can make doubt one’s trust
Reminding of how my trust was broken before.
She even makes me doubt my friends and family
“They’re only there for you because you can do something for them”
She would say.
“Do something wrong or make one mistake; they’ll leave before you hit the floor.”
“They’re only using me. I HAVE NO REAL WORTH TO ANYONE.”
She is the voice in me that screams out
She is the me that wishes to be expressed
The emotion I can never let out.
But if I have to smile when I want to cry
To grit my teeth I want to scream and curse
Then which side is the true me?
I have wore a mask for so long
I no longer know my true self.
Am I my true self?
Or I did put the real me in shadows
And my mask parade so long as lying truth
Who am I really?
Which of these are me?
Oh man…
There she goes again
Or…
There I go again?
