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Hello, you've reached the office for Inuyasha Character Therapy. If you'd like to speak to one of our therapists, please listen to the following choices:

If you're Inuyasha, you have obsessive-compulsive disorder. Please press 1 repeatedly. We know your heart is telling you to press another number, but until you resolve your issues with the first number, we know you'll keep pressing it.

If you're Kagome, you have co-dependancy. Please ask Inuyasha to press 2 for you. But if he presses something wrong, osuwari him.

If you're Kohaku, you suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome. But don't be afraid to press 3. It'll be okay soon enough.

If you're Suikotsu, you have multiple personality disorder. Please press 4, 5, and 6.

If you're Naraku, you have control issues. Go ahead and make one of your little underlings press 7 for you.

If you're Sesshoumaru, you have a Narcissistic disorder. You might feel you're too good to press 8, but if you do, we won't tell anyone.

If you're Miroku, you've dialed the wrong number. Please call the number to register with the sex offenders listing, or call 555-4572 for a "good time."

If you're Jankotsu, then you have Mistaken Gender Disorder. Please press 9. Don't be afraid to break a nail!

Thank you for calling, have a great day