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*Excerpts from the Dog's Diary *

8:00 am - Dog food!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
8:25 am - A car ride!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
8:32 am - A walk in the park!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
8:41 am - Sniffed another dog's butt!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
9:37am - Got rubbed and petted!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
9:54 am - Nap!!!(My favorite thing!!!!!!)
1:05 pm - Milk bones!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
2:12 pm - Played in the yard!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
3:08 pm - Chased my tail!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
5:00 pm -Dinner!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
7:32 pm - Got to play ball!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
8:00 pm - Watched TV with the people!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
8:57 pm - Rawhide treat!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!!! (My favorite thing !!!!!!)




* Excerpts from the Cat's Diary *

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of inedible dry nuggets.Although I make my contempt for the horrid rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In yet another attempt to disgust them, I vomit on the carpet.This evening I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I'd hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!!

Therewas some sort of assembly of my captors and many of their accomplices tonight.I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the feast. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies".I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am now convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges.He is often released and seems to be more than willing to return.He is quite obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant.I regularly observe him communicate with the guards.I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now.
ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja