|
|
|
![User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show. User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/s.gif)
Because I haven't been making journal entries often and don't have much to talk about I'll just put up things I got in my e-mail...
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says...................
"Grandpa....... Go home, you're drunk."
Three men are waiting at the gates of heaven to get in. The gate keeper tell them that heaven is currently over crowded, and that of the three of them, he would let the person who died the worst death in. So he asks the first guy about how he died.
The guy replies "Well, I thought my wife was having an affair with another man, so I came home earlier than usual. I came to my apartment building, rode the elevator to the 3rd floor, and walked to my room.
Sure enough, the door was locked, so I unlocked it, and when I got in, sure enough, my wife was on the bed covering herself with just her bedspread. Knowing the man responsible for this was still in the room, I went looking for him. I looked every where, but could not find him.
So, I went out to my balcony to relax, and there he was! Hanging from the balcony by his fingers! I was so mad, I just started stomping on his fingers. When he didnt fall, I went and got a hammer, and started pounding his fingers.
He let go and fell into some bushes below, but he was still alive, so I went and got my wife's wardrobe, and threw it on him. Later, I was feeling bad about what I did, so I shot myself."
The gate keeper says "Well, thats pretty bad. Lets see what the next guy has to say."
"Well, I was on my balcony, relaxing and enjoying the view, when all of a sudden it collapsed! Fortunatly, I was able to grab onto another balcony before I hit the ground, but then this crazy man comes out and starts jumping on my fingers! And if thats not enough, he goes in and gets a hammer, and starts hammering my fingers! I couldnt hold on any longer and I fell, fortunatly, I landed in some bushes and was still alive.
But then he throws a wardrobe ontop of me! So here I am..."
The gate keeper says "Thats pretty bad too, lets see what this guy has to say."
" Ok, picture this... Your hiding, naked, in a wardrobe....."
A ship gets shipwrecked on an uncharted jungle island, and only 2 men survive. They travel ashore only to find themselves surrounded by angry natives. The chief yells, "You are tresspassing on our island! You must choose your punishment! Death, or BOOGA BOOGA!" The chief asks the first guy which one he prefers. "Well, I don't know what 'booga booga' is, but I don't want to die, so I'll choose 'booga booga'". The natives go wild, and six of them run forward and take turns butt-humping him. Then the chief asks the second man which punishment he wants. "Whoa! I don't want that happening to me! I'd rather die. I choose death."
So, the chief shouts to all of his warriors "Death ... by BOOGA BOOGA!"
D Vee · Thu Apr 05, 2007 @ 02:33pm · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|