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A Father by [removed]
On his 19th birthday Naruto had finally asked Sakura out who agrees [to what?]. On the first date Sakura is forced to spend the night with Naruto due to a storm [You'd think they know. I mean, it's not that hard to see if a storm is coming or not. The big, dark clouds and strong winds are pretty good signs.]. The both fall asleep on Naruto's bed [See, when people say that two people are "sleeping" together, they don't actually mean that they're "taking the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake".]and a week later Sakura learns something: She's pregneant [Pregneant? She's pregnant with a regnant? Huh?]

Snow by [removed]
it's Sakura's birthday and she planned a party up in the mountains with her friends...and her parents are NOT there [There goes my theory that most teenagers are good on the inside.]! will friendship turn to love?sakulee, kibahina, naruhina, mild shinohina [Jeez Hinata, calm down a little.], shikaino neijitenten.

The 4 Headed Demons: Original Anime [...Male author] by [removed]
Ikamaru Katana. Age 14. Occupation: Genin [Show, not tell! Show, not tell!]... And holder of the KaedamaKashiraDoragonTenma [What the ******** is that?]! At only Age 14, he must venture through obstacles that could actually kill him for different reasons. First, Revenge. Then Insanity. Then... Hope... For The World.. [Ellipses... don't... make... you... look... dramatic... just... stupid.]

The End of Heartache [Emo] by [removed]
When Rayne finds herself in the world of Naruto she never expected to become a slave of the desert [While it manages to be demure and polite in public, Desert enjoys yelling "Work faster! I have an appointment in the Sahara's in two hours! Get rid of that cloud! You know I hate moisture!" at it's servants when it thinks nobody is watching.]. Not only that, but she never expected herself to fall victim to the emotion called love [Why does everyone of these authors think that love is, like, evil or something? It's possible for a person in love to still be awesome. Just look at me 4laugh ]. GaaraOC

The Blood In Your Veins Is Twenty Below [Well, I've never heard of that one before...] by [removed]
Toshi [Yosh!] has lost everything. . .But her memories. . .Her past life wasn't too pleasant, but it was all she had. What happens when a certain redhead comes along into her cadaverous [I sense thesaurus rape in the future...] heart? PLEASE REVIEW THIS! D: I WORKED HARD AND I'VE NEVER DONE FANFICTION! [Rule number five: Never beg for reviews.]

Naruto and the Chocolate Factory [...I can just see where this is going...] by [Rhyming doesn't make you look cool either.]
Sasuke Uchiha [Oh, GOD! gonk ] , Uchiha, the amazing chocolatier. Sasuke Uchiha, Uchiha, everybody give a cheer!It's Willy Wonka Naruto style!
[That movie reeked of Wacko Jacko.]

To Kiss a Tomato [Ew.] by [removed]
The Uchiha are slightly unstable vampires [*insert eye rolling*], the Hyuuga are elves ['Kay LotR fans, stay in your section plzkthx.], Sasori isan angel [You've got to be kidding me.] and Lee is a werewolf [It's the eyebrows isn't it?]. And those are just the first people Sakurameets [What do you have against the space bar?] when she accidentally becomes the newest member of this verydisfunctional family. Slight spoilers for [...]

Taiyoukai Kaita by [Neither does fangirl Japanese]
Taiyoukai [Where the hell are all these Inuyasha fantwits coming from?!] Kaita Daughter and Princess of the Taiyoukai clan who, moved to Konoha Village, so that she could defeat the two best in Konoha. One Uzamaki Naruto and one Uchiha Sasuke [Oh how pleasant of them.]. But living there her family gets assassinated ["Hi. My name is MohinderKaita. You killed my father, prepare to die.]... Ch 5 UP finally

Artful Beauty by [Sticking an -ia on everything doesn't automatically make it a name.]
Not done! i know crappy summary [Shitty title too.]

I wanna go EMO [It's not listed as a parody gonk ]by [removed]
Suddenly ninjas ceased to exist [...That's no excuse to ******** up their personality.]! All the girls go Makeup, Shopping [Way to stereotype.]! while all boys go Games, Porn [Way to stereotype twice]!. Hinata doesn't [Doesn't what?]! Suddenly Hinata's cool [Hinata's always awesome confused ]! But..she's suffering [Oh no you didn't! Hinata is so not emo. Idiotselfinsertplz]? HinataxSomebody [...]? Help me with the summary, plz T.T [<-- Yes, that's a smiley here. Another smiley in the summary-er.]

My Naruto Story by [Ahaha. This is so witty! Except, you know, it's not.]
Maddy [ZOMG! Don't drag the Mad Hatter into this!] gets taken to the Naruto world. The Hokage says she need [Need? There's more of them?!] to help them save the world and she can go back home as long as she stays on track and trains.[Alitterations are often very witty. In this case, it's just stupid.] But what if a certian silver haired ninja gets her off track [Again with the trains. Bah.]. NaruHinat, SasuSaku, Kakashi is 16 [Why are there so many idiots in my age frame?]

Mine [Restraining order...] by [Bayleaf is too awesome for you.]
He thought she was like the other girls, he was wrong [I thought that this summary would be a nice reflection of the story and how much it sucks. I was right.].She thought he was like the other guys, she was right [Seriously, stop using that type. It's not unique or special.].Uchiha Sasuke vowed to make Haruno Sakuro [Who the ******** is Sakuro?] his, and a way to do exactly that has been presented to him.Now if only Sakura would be more coopertive [No means no, Sasuke.].

Reality TV Show[s are like the bad drop-in fics of the TV world.]: Konoha Big Brother! by [Idiot-chan]
you all know the drill.. we trap a couple of people in a house, make them do humiliating things... XD at last, third chapter up... please R&R!
[...Most of these fantwits need to go to some mental institution or something. Not even Hinata is that stalker-ish.]

Is this a Dream or Reality? [No, it's a nightmare.] by [removed]
rated T for bad words [Bad words? Like what? Tushy?] and Possible [Hey! There's no need to drag Kim in your badfic!] other things.....Daring Chicken [...Ok, I'm lost.]!OvO [That had better not be another smiley.] ...Jucuma the protective one and Kamacha the Sweet, shy and fighting one! Our Newest Character Mokoma the Brave and fearless [Are these people in the right show?], and happy go lucky one! Yeah i keep changing the title! Lol [No.]


Sweet Insanity by [removed]
I am Haruno Sakura [Sakura writes fanfics?], a member of the akatsuki [Bwahaha! The akatsuki peeps aren't important enough for proper capitalization anymore!], a love deprived heiress [No, I'm pretty sure that's Hinata.], a fallen angel [You and everybody else, dear.]... figuratively [Again...with...the...ellipses...]... and everyone is out to kill me [Hello. Yeah, I'm sorry for calling again. I know. Well, I'm sure you guys still have some space for one more, right? This one thinks that everyone is out to get her too. There's just so many of them!]. Twisted and dark [Mmm.. licorice]. Rating might go up in the later chapters. Angel Suicide Rewrite
[ rolleyes ]

The Fortune of Mrs Sakura by [Removed]
Sakura goes to a fortuneteller, who offers to let her spend one day married to each of her potential matches [Ah Sakura, the fandom bicycle.]. Of course, she doesn't realize that Lee and Sasuke are just the tip of the iceburg [Do iceburgs even have tips?]. [Every Sakura Pairing] [Great for idiot Sakura wannabes.]
[Looked inside. Interesting concept. Shitty execution.]



*sigh* Spring break's almost over. It was fun while it lasted. heart
Maybe I should start linking to good fics instead of laughing at the bad ones.

Speaking of bad, the Bleach fanwar started again. Whee. It's a rabid IchiRuki fan this time. Bleach ship wars need more variety though. It's always IchiRuki against IchiHime.
The IchiRuki's have some good fanart though.



...

Key Through the Heart [Shojo title] by [Male author. I bet we all know what this story will be like...]
As if the Kyuubi wasn't enough [Ch'yea, stop abusing the poor dude already.], Naruto Uzumaki gains a power that will change the course of the universe and his life forever. Lucky him. Crossover with Kingdom Hearts, AU. Naruharem [Called that one.] as well as other pairings. No yaoi or yuri. [You feel the need to advertise that why?]

A Second Chance by [Ai-ya-ya. So much fake Japanese right here.]
After how many years of thinking she made the right choice, she came back in hopes of reclaiming what she left behind [Sasuke turned into a she? Bwuh?].After Scandle after scandle shes back [Well, duh. Sasuke is the local traitor not Sakura and I bet scandles aren't nearly as bad as scandals.].SasuSaku

Eventually Every Wall Falls by [removed]
He always wanted to climb up that wall and jump down on the other side. [AU and set during the Cold War [Was? Was?], GaaLee, character death, oneshot]
[Not all sucky. Just kinda 'bwuh?'-ish.]